Right so am at work, slightly bored out of my brain cells, about to commit blue murder! There is someone beside me who’s sniffing the few brain cells she has left out! I mean, why don’t you just get yourself up and out your sit, into the loo (this bit is important, cos when she does blow, it's beside me, sitting at her desk and boy is it loud, o and it's followed by a few sniffles – why bother!) and blow that nose! Urgh!!! Am going mental! This was not meant to be a whinging blog! It was supposed to be educational :) … and intellectual… but alas, I am brought down to the level of a human being! I tire! May go out for a coffee… already done the lunch thing, the falling asleep thing and now this – the updating your blog thing! Anyway, at least at the end of the day, the almighty pound reports into my account.
O did I tell you that this colleague of mine has a knack for typing (seeing as it’s email contact I keep it to) words out as follows (hers are in red):
Rather – ratter
Will – we
Prefer – preface
There’s also this one - it seem we are meant to fill one in and send via email on every Wednesday
Did I hear you scream or should that be howl out with laughter? All this coming from someone who ‘says’ she schooled here from her A’s (6th form to the rest of you) … yeah, right, and my dad is Bill Gates!
So what’s been happening in the big bad world? O I forgot to report this…. Last month, Bobby Brown was in the UK – who let him in o! He appeared on some reality program (I say some, cos that’s what it was) called ’24 hours with’. It’s a new style chat show where the celebrity and interviewer spend 24 hours LOCKED in a room. The host Jamie Campbell asks each celebrity anything he wants, and the dude must have some psychologist/psycho-analytical degree, as he goes for the jugular with his killer questions! Anyway, it was Bobby’s turn. Being a psycho-analyst (or at least I’ve conferred the honour on him, as is the tradition where I come from), this dude Bill played on Bobby’s phobia for homosexuals… It was hilarious. The conversation kind of went like this:
Jamie: ‘Why don’t we go into the bedroom?’
Bobby: ‘Why?’
Jamie: ‘We could share a bed’
Bobby: ‘I don’t want to sleep’
Jamie: ‘But we have nothing to do, so we may as well go to sleep’
Bobby: ‘Well am not sharing a bed with you, I’ll sleep out here. And why is there only one bed’
Jamie: ‘I don’t know’
Bobby: ‘Why would I share a bed with you?’
Jamie: ‘I don’t know’
Bobby: ‘You gay or something?’
Jamie: ‘I just don’t feel like answering it’
Bobby: ‘Just tell me, you gay?’
Jamie: ‘I’m not answering the question’
Bobby: ‘Why not’
Jamie: ‘Because the fact that am gay doesn’t make me any less of a man’
Bobby: ‘Well it makes you less of a man if you don’t answer’
Jamie: ‘Well that’s your opinion’
Bobby: ‘Are you gay?’
Jamie: ‘I’m not answering that question’
Bobby walks off into a room, 2 hours later
Bobby: ‘Are you gay?’
Jamie: ‘Are you scared of gays?’
Bobby: ‘If you don’t tell me, ama (in that Yankee drawl) beat you down’ cracking his knuckles
Jamie: ‘Why do you want to know?’
Bobby: ‘Amgonna beat you down on national TV’ (cracking his knuckles again)
Jamie realising Bobby is serious about the beat down says: ‘Am not gay’
Bobby: ‘Are you sure you’re not gay?’
Jamie: ‘Not if you want to beat me up’
Bobby: ‘So you’re gay?’
Jamie: ‘No am not gay’
Bobby: ‘You sure?’
Jamie: ‘Why? Are you scared of gays?’
Bobby: ‘Am not scared, just don’t like them’
Jamie: ‘You ever met a gay person?’
Bobby: ‘Why would I meet a gay person? I don’t like them, they don’t like me’
Bobby: ‘Are you gay?’ (Black man panicking….. didn’t want an ass-whipping, quite literally)
Jamie: ‘I’ve said am not’
Bobby: ‘You sure?’
Okay getting boring now…. Yawn! Bobby finally believes Jamie’s not gay and gives in and o next comes this –
Jamie: ‘What’s it like to be a wanted man?’ (In reference to Osama Bin Laden apparently wanting his head over Whitney Houston)
Bobby: ‘Well, the dude wanted me to give up my woman and I wasn’t having any of it’
Jamie: ‘So what did you do?’
Bobby: ‘Told him where to find me, I wasn’t going down like that’
Jamie: ‘Really’ (Obviously not believing our man B.Brown)
Bobby: ‘O yeah, I told him to fxxx and not to bother me and Whitney’
Jamie: ‘You going to give him a beat down too?’
Bobby: ‘I would if he came near me’
Well you know how the rest went, but really the beat down bit was such fun, it was one of those days when I wished I had Sky+…. It was pissing on yourself funny! Trust me!
My days have just improved… just got the news that I’m on a project... only catch is I have to drive 1 hour (it says … but that M25 (it’s a big orbital/expressway that connects north, east, west and south London/Greater London) makes it 2) there and back could be anywhere from 45 minutes (sshhh) to 4 hours! But anything not to be b---d!
Waiting to see improvements in my life from GB (Gordon Brown) our esteemed Prime Minister but then interest rates went up… You will NOT keep me down! Aside from that, not much news out there. O yeah, the London Olympics Committee has apparently no head for project management. They have no mechanism in place to monitor if projects are done….. hmm me thinks that’s another ‘egunje’ venue in the making (does anyone have a father/brother there…) abeg come give me contract.
Off to a Comedy night with Basket Mouth and ‘friends’ on Saturday, will tell you how it went.
Anyways good people catch you soon…
I’ll leave you with this in the meantime.
-‘boo
xxx
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