Who are these FREAKS??

You guys watching the X-Factor auditions? Now there've been all sorts, but today's 'goats' take the biscuit - quite literally! Let's see, there was Raj who is a pharmacist by profession.... he claims he has spent close to 50k.. that's Britsh Pounds and not .... er what's the currency in India - ehen, Rupples.. oops, Rupees. Anyhoo Raj claims he's so musically inclined he's resigned from his job! So up he steps onto the 'X', opens his mouth and WAILS! Yup, that's as in he couldn't sing to save his life! To top it all off, he was 'surprised' they ALL said a big, resounding, emphatic N-O! Simon... and I love Mr. Cowell, he told him... 'Raj, I suggest you go back to your day job, 'cos you have as much chance of being in the music business as I have of going to the moon'! Hilarious!!! Freak 2 was some blck woman (obviously African and thankfully NOT Naija.... last year was bad enough, when some strange dude with a whole mouth of teeth made a complete and total fool of himself!!) that wore an England t-shirt and kept saying 'Am gunna win for England'... Err love, this is a Brit show.... and when she got her 3 'yeses'... we'll call her Mrs African... she's 46 by the way. Anyhoo Mrs African goes... again 'Am so excited, am gunna win for England.... Hallelujah'! Where did that come from? Freaky 3 was some HUGE and I mean humongous 17 year old girl, who arrived with her even bigger family in a frock! You heard me... a frock made by her dad.... looked like a snow white re-creation, except it's longer, dowdier and in XXXXXXL! You should have seen the look on the judges faces when she said quite proudly 'My daddy made my dress'. Needless to say fattie (no offense to anyone 'blessed' with a Little somethin' somethin') didn't make it... well, how could she when she couldn't remember her words... she went out, the 'Rolling' Family rolled in... well actually they stormed in, but I thought that sounded better (easy to imagine anyway). Before they could attack anyway... Mr C shut them up... straight! The man is lucky he is oyingbo... he could have been an Isale Eko indigene. Freak 4.... Dawn by name, who said she was an Apprentice jockey..... naturally Louis and Sharon and eventually Danni ALL burst out in laughter and Simon had to boot them out.... picture this, a 'modestly' put size 18 person, who says she wants to be the next Madonna! (In her dreams anyway).... O did I tell you she was all 'leathered up'... in a VERY short skirt and those caps gay biker boys don. Then she opened her mouth and 'whispered' her song.... dip! And let's not forget the five and a half month preggers woman with hardly any teeth who with her partner got abuse when she got her yes revoked.... come on... these things are stressful enough for those eating for '1'!! She claimed she was ready to do what it takes.... er I guess that included killing her baby! Some people!! The guy probably thought.... hmm my ticket to leaving the council flat we currently live in! Idiots!

And what the .....xxxxxxxxx........does Rafa think he is up to? He ALWAYS does this.... we should be on top now at the start of the season, so that towards the end when the Champions League matches are in full swing, we don't have to hustle!!! So what does he do.... leaves out Torres AGAIN from the starting line up! So we drew against the Brummies.... the only thing we'll be praying for now is that ManU V Chelsea ends in a draw tomorrow.... honestly Rafa, either you do your job or I'll be forced to stalk you till you get it right!

Just got in from Lille and am fagged out to say the least... I'll leave you with a few hilarious clips from the just concluded x-factor auditions... Enjoy.

-'boo xxx