It's been a while since I last posted anything on my bloggy blog, (I did warn you that I'd be MIA for a while) so here goes. O by the way, my exams went well THANK YOU very much for asking (not)! Anyhoo it's been a roller coaster year... filled with highs and lows, but we give ALL thanks to the Almighty for sparing me this far, but more importantly for His goodness and mercies.
I notice while my back was turned (immersed in 6 folders full of overload in preparation for my exams) that the world went completely off on one. For example, when did it become fashionable for adults (fully grown men and women) to have to 'admit' on national TV that they are 'NOT smarter than a 10 year old!'. Imagine! No wonder the little rats are running about disrespecting their egbons (elders). Really, when last did any of you pick up your notes (if you still have them like me :)) from uni (if you went) or secondary school (aka high school), let alone primary school... come on! More importantly, if a ten year old doesn't remember anything from their curriculum.... then surely there is a problem! I mean at this point we have more important things to think about, like ... bills, bills, mortgages, bills, work and the drudgery of it, increase in petrol costs, congestion charges, parking fines, not getting 3 points on your licence and other more important things to 'get on' in life! O for those not in the know, am talking about 'Are you smarter than a 10 year old' on Sky One, featuring Dom and Dick... yes it's good viewing to watch grown ass people humiliating themselves but then there's got to be more fair ways of showing our intelligence as 'mature' children. Case in hand this one am watching at the mo.... a real 'blonde' who is on only her third question and has used 2 of her 3 lives/saves! Wow!!! And to think she is 31!! Ditsy I say! I hope she drops out soon and goes home with nothing! Dip!
Update... she left on the fourth question... unfortunately with £1000.....naturally not being able to answer question 4! And the next dip has arrived... slightly over weight be-goggled individual (obviously a man), who couldn't spell!!! No wonder they're be-moaning the state of education in this country... how can he NOT be able to spell words that 8 year olds can??? O and the word is 'tyrannosaurus'.... o this fellow wants to win money to train as a ..... wait for it...... any ideas...... a wrestler! And his wrestling name will be ....'The Flux'.... probably cos that's what he'll be doing as his opponent kicks his ass! He's used up 2 lives for the first 2 questions!!! Talk about being dim! O dippy doo is about to use his third and last lifeline on on his third question....he apparently has 7 Scottish standards - I presume that's like O'Levels.... dear I say no wonder! Get this question 4.. Colin runs steadily at 5mph, how long will it take him to run a mile? The Flux's response... 1hr 15 min!!! I mean come on..... 5 mph = 5 miles in 1 hour (aka 60 mins).... therefore 1 mile = 12 min!! Dip! So The Flux goes home with zilch! He really deserves to have to humiliate himself on TV... and he says he is an accountant! I would urge people NOT to use him... what! How 'hard' could that question be NOT??
Ooo today we mourn the death of Benazir Bhutto who was assassinated by those lowest of lows who call themselves martyrs... but am not sure they KNOW what the impact of their deeds is! She leaves behind 3 kids.... may the Good Lord grant them the strength to bear the loss of their mum. I hope this insane violence stops, too many innocent lives are being put cut short 'cos some nonentities think it's their right to shed blood and be greeted by 100 virgins (in their dreams).... and yet they claim they're pure - the hypocrisy of it all!
Heroes season 2... I just finished watching 1-11...wow! That's all I can say - exhilarating to the very end! The producers of Lost might want to take a cue from them.... season 4 starts in spring. Bring on Heroes season 3 people.. hurry please... this girl is thirsty for more Hiro (no, not a typo... he's the Japanese fellow who can move time).
My mind draws a blank now... I had so much to rant about... maybe it's the time of the clear out.... so I've shed all my anger for 2007 as we go into 2008.... ready to rebuild it.
So good folk, if I've got nothing to moan about, it'll be see you in 2008..... Happy reading and thanks for visiting.
Happy New Year folk.....and a Blessed 2008 to you all, filled with dreams and aspirations being met.
Ta da.
- 'boo xxx
Thursday 27 December 2007
Thursday 8 November 2007
Looney bins on the road - Part I
I did tell you I'd be VERY busy. At the moment, I have exams where the pass rate is, get this...... 48%!!! Now tell me how that's possible??? Ehn!! Anyway as we say .. I must to scatter!! Just thought I'd bring this to your attention...
True life!
A van driver almost attacked me yesterday morning on my way into work… ok, ok, I slid into an opening in traffic, not my fault he’d left a gap – anyway in the process of trying to scratch me or whatever it was he was trying to do, e hit another woman’s car… and Iron lady was not letting him go! He then proceeded to try to yank open my door- now the force was so hard I could hear the handle ricochet!! When the door wouldn’t open – I ALWAYS lock the doors in the car – habit from Naija, he banged the car a few times and with the woman watching him, he had to scuttle back to extricate himself from his problem!
I don’t know if he’d have attacked me (I was alone in the car, as I am most times), or what he’d have done if the door was unlocked, but thank God it was! Also, not sure if the oyingbos around me would have helped… this day and age of immigrants must go!
Lesson for the day – ALWAYS lock your doors when driving, even if you’re only covering a 1 mile distance!
Ladies, stay safe and gentlemen, try not to throw a hissy fit when a lady 'ducks in' in front of you - we're not all bad drivers!
- 'boo xxx
True life!
A van driver almost attacked me yesterday morning on my way into work… ok, ok, I slid into an opening in traffic, not my fault he’d left a gap – anyway in the process of trying to scratch me or whatever it was he was trying to do, e hit another woman’s car… and Iron lady was not letting him go! He then proceeded to try to yank open my door- now the force was so hard I could hear the handle ricochet!! When the door wouldn’t open – I ALWAYS lock the doors in the car – habit from Naija, he banged the car a few times and with the woman watching him, he had to scuttle back to extricate himself from his problem!
I don’t know if he’d have attacked me (I was alone in the car, as I am most times), or what he’d have done if the door was unlocked, but thank God it was! Also, not sure if the oyingbos around me would have helped… this day and age of immigrants must go!
Lesson for the day – ALWAYS lock your doors when driving, even if you’re only covering a 1 mile distance!
Ladies, stay safe and gentlemen, try not to throw a hissy fit when a lady 'ducks in' in front of you - we're not all bad drivers!
- 'boo xxx
Saturday 13 October 2007
So there's a proposal to make it law for each household to put out ONLY 1 (yup, that's one) bin bag a week... that's single bin bags and not bins! What the f***... apologies to those with rather sensitive ears. What next? Charge us per cubic metre for the air we use... probably using your body as the measuring jug.... in which case, I hopefully will not be paying very much when that happens! Anyway, what I want to know is why I pay out so much in taxes.... let's see there's road tax, VAT (17.5% on EVERYTHING), inheritance tax, council tax, non-resident tax, NI tax, capital gains tax, property tax, stamp duty land tax, income tax, security tax, fuel surcharge, and corporation tax to mention just a few!!! O isn't there are a death tax as well? Who are these suits that probably get paid a hell of a lot to dream up these ... shall we for niceties sake call them 'ideas'? Me thinks y'all NEED to have your heads examined!!
O and will someone please tell whatshisface... the racing young blood... err....Lewis Hamilton to stop the fame from going to his head!! I mean come on, you had elders there BEFORE you and others WILL come AFTER you! My advice young man is to remember your roots (even though it's pretty obvious your dad has forgotten his), get your head down, respect your egbons and above all be 'humble' (yup, strange words to you.... but..). Only last month he got cocky and had the nerve to insult his team mate Fernando Alonso... well me thinks the shoe is on the other foot now, Alonso is laughing and hopefully he'll have the last laugh in Brazil in two weeks. I certainly don't have anything against dudus progressing, especially the young ones, but when they start to disrespect their elders and mouth off... that's when Missy gets upset... so heed my words lad, get off your high horse and remember you're really only there cos your English and have the support of the general populace.... but it'll only ever be for so long.... remember your bizarre wheel spinning in the pit lane at 35mph????? Some say it's due to your inexperience, some say it was due to your over-confidence, some say you cracked under the pressure. Whichever it was, remember History provides interesting lessons in F1, 1986 to be precise. Nigel Mansell appeared a locked-on certainty for the world title at the 1986 Australian Grand Prix in Adelaide,Hamilton was not even two years old then. Six points clear of rival Alain Prost, Mansell was driving a conservative race in the third position he needed to clinch the title when his left rear tyre exploded, and with it his hopes. Mansell had driven brilliantly that year, but so had Prost, and the Englishman's bad luck did not make the great Frenchman any less deserving a champion. The same would go for Alonso and Ferrari’s Kimi Raikkonen this season.... A word is enough for the wise!
Right X-Factor heats up again .... ooo can't wait, although to be honest, not really loving the contestants! But on the flip side, Heroes 2... yippeee. Okey dokey... ta da.. O here's a souvenir from Basel - Switzerland :)
-'boo xxx
O and will someone please tell whatshisface... the racing young blood... err....Lewis Hamilton to stop the fame from going to his head!! I mean come on, you had elders there BEFORE you and others WILL come AFTER you! My advice young man is to remember your roots (even though it's pretty obvious your dad has forgotten his), get your head down, respect your egbons and above all be 'humble' (yup, strange words to you.... but..). Only last month he got cocky and had the nerve to insult his team mate Fernando Alonso... well me thinks the shoe is on the other foot now, Alonso is laughing and hopefully he'll have the last laugh in Brazil in two weeks. I certainly don't have anything against dudus progressing, especially the young ones, but when they start to disrespect their elders and mouth off... that's when Missy gets upset... so heed my words lad, get off your high horse and remember you're really only there cos your English and have the support of the general populace.... but it'll only ever be for so long.... remember your bizarre wheel spinning in the pit lane at 35mph????? Some say it's due to your inexperience, some say it was due to your over-confidence, some say you cracked under the pressure. Whichever it was, remember History provides interesting lessons in F1, 1986 to be precise. Nigel Mansell appeared a locked-on certainty for the world title at the 1986 Australian Grand Prix in Adelaide,Hamilton was not even two years old then. Six points clear of rival Alain Prost, Mansell was driving a conservative race in the third position he needed to clinch the title when his left rear tyre exploded, and with it his hopes. Mansell had driven brilliantly that year, but so had Prost, and the Englishman's bad luck did not make the great Frenchman any less deserving a champion. The same would go for Alonso and Ferrari’s Kimi Raikkonen this season.... A word is enough for the wise!
Right X-Factor heats up again .... ooo can't wait, although to be honest, not really loving the contestants! But on the flip side, Heroes 2... yippeee. Okey dokey... ta da.. O here's a souvenir from Basel - Switzerland :)
-'boo xxx
Sunday 7 October 2007
Had to let this out!
So where were we... o yes, Muslims in the UK. Heard the new one? Well, apparently Sainsburys has given 'permission' to it's Muslims employees to refuse to sell alcohol to PAYING customers... they can leave it to their 'infidel' colleagues to carry on with the same sale. RUBBISH! As 'my' people would say, 'orishirishi'! In addition this same foolish Sainsburys also allows for Muslim pharmacists to refuse to sell the morning after pill to female and again PAYING customers!! Pray tell, when did the term 'the customer is always right' cease to exist? How dare Sainsburys encourage such utter rubbish! Apparently Boots too allows their Muslim staff to get away with the same trash! Se won gbadun (are they ok?) Surely this must count as discriminating against certain staff... who surely MUST be in majority, as well as infringing on customers BASIC human rights...i.e. the right to buy what I want, when I want, especially when paying with my HARD earned cash! Getit!! If it weren't for the nectar card and Boots Advantage card I possess and more especially ALL those points I have accumulated, I would have instantly boycotted them! Haba! I have nothing against anyone expressing their religious beliefs, afterall i am Christian and PROUD! But surely this just takes the biscuit! First it was the headmistress who banned the play - and you MUST laugh at this.... three little pigs ('cos it offended some of the Muslim parents), then it was the councils that banned Christmas... but yet threw a party to celebrate 'Eid'.... when does it STOP? I support the motion to RETURN ALL THINGS BRITISH, i.e if the Brits even know what that means now! .... Hopefully one day and sooner, rather than later they'll return to their ways, the ways of Western Civilization. If there's anything the leaders of the main parties should be fighting for, it's not to kick out immigrants like me, who have embraced the culture of the land we are in... but to out a STOP to all infiltration and attempts to eradicate a culture and a civilization that has thrived for so long, one that has conquered nations and peoples and imposed their way of life on others..... one which now seems like a toothless bulldog!! O how Winston Churchill would be turning in his grave, or would that be looking for a witchdoctor wherever he is to curse 1 or 2 past leaders! Hmmmm!!!
'nuff said!
-'boo xxx
'nuff said!
-'boo xxx
Friday 5 October 2007
The News Makers
So the general population of Nigeria have once again been tarred with that brush.... you know the one am talking about!n It goes by the name of 4-1-9 aka Advance Free Fraud aka Internet Scams! Why o why do we always have to get nabbed for these things??? Surely there MUST be some other way of making money...one would think that with the way cases are being pursued by law enforcement agents all over the world, they would just GIVE it UP! But I guess the 'mogols' (otherwise knows as greedy dimwits and sadoes who have nothing better to spend their money on!) out there keep them in 'business'! Come on people... if you're an 'ugly' mutt who has NO money, how can in this lifetime (at least) a 'fine' babe with all the 3Bs (boobs, belly (flat of course) and bum) EVER look at you? On the otherhand, how could someone decide to 'gift' you 1 million British pounds (yup, £1,000,000.00 - did you note ALL the zeroes in it!!!).... OK the scam may be we need you to 'hide' 1 milla in your account, because our government is after it (err, why did you think they are after it? Could be that the money actually belongs to a country..... duh!!!) and for 'helping us out', we'll 'give' you say a quarter of that... £250,000.... in your dreams love!!! People, y'all NEED a REALITY CHECK!!! No one will give you £250,000 if you ain't worked for it! You're the ones who keep these fraudsters in business..... y'all need to stop 'patronizing' these 'yahoo-yahoo' boys! OK!!! And you fraudsters what you need is a GOOD hiding!! Obviously your parents never gave you one and should have.... they're probably more interested in the new Bentley or whatumacallit... that lump.... ahh...the Hummer you've just 'launched'!! Me suggests the government brings back the public lashing of these miscreants... what other name would you call them.. and then throw their asses in Kirikiri for at least 5 years! Now my piece said, I think I should start a petition 'Unveil all the yahoo boys and throw their asses in jail after lashing them'! What do you think? O and did I forget to say... 'Human Rights my ASS'!
At least on the flip side, Dr Ngozi Okonjo-Iweala has been named as a managing director of the World Bank. Having held the positions as Nigeria's former minister of finance and later foreign affairs minister, she will join managing directors Juan Jose Daboub and Graeme Wheeler at the top level of the World Bank Group (WBG) management! She will have responsibility for the bank's Africa, South Asia, Europe and central Asia regions. She's also well known outside Nigeria as a corruption buster and seen as a key figure in helping secure the cancellation of $30 billion (21.2 billion EUR) of Nigeria's debt. Madam, more grease to your elbows o! This is not the last stop for you.... Ngozi Okojo-Iweala for president!!!! Hooray (x3)... Even 'Baba' could not hold you down! Don't mind the man jare..... after chopping and cleaning mouth!! He didn't want you to tu (let loose) his ashiri (secrets). Anyway when you're ready to take the mantle of office, give me a holla and we'll talk business... all I want is to be your campaign manager.... you are my role model!
Whatelse... apparently some Muslim medical students are refusing to attend lectures or answer exam questions on alcohol-related or sexually transmitted diseases because they claim.... and get this..... that it offends their religius beliefs .... is it just me, or shouldn't they fail the buggers and kick them out of medical school??? What type of Doctors would the UK be churning out if we had idiots like these in our hospitals??? Come on...Infact it's gone as far as some trainee doctors (they are trainee o... not evem full fledged!! Exam, they never pass o!!!) say learning to treat the disease conflicts with their faith, which states that Muslims should not drink alcohol and rejects sexual promiscuity.... yeah.... and you're not the same people who raped and pillaged your way through history eh??? Hmmmm. In addition,some Musllim medical students refuse to treat patients of the opposite sex... one male student was prepared to fail his final exams rather than examine a female student. At this point, am boiling and before I say anything blasphemous.... why the hell did they NOT fail him???? Is this not a CHRISTIAN country?? If you want to live here, then conform.... it's as simple as that! Get it! To the bleeding bureaucrats who allow this rubbish to go on..... you'd better be careful, 'cos what you're doing is laying a foundation for 'erasing' (and it's that) the culture and history of this great country! Be warned....
Last words... Rafa, what the 'f' are you up to? Why are we loosing???? If we're not careful we'll be booted out of Champions League.... everyone (and I mean the English teams) is at the top of their tables EXCEPT us.... and where are we?? THIRD!!!! What??? And it's not like we're top of the table in the Premiership either! Hmmmm bros, e be liek say you better get your act together before I have to visit a juju man to make you see sense o!!! Help us o!
Anyways have a great week ahead.... Catch y'all soon.
-'boo xxx
At least on the flip side, Dr Ngozi Okonjo-Iweala has been named as a managing director of the World Bank. Having held the positions as Nigeria's former minister of finance and later foreign affairs minister, she will join managing directors Juan Jose Daboub and Graeme Wheeler at the top level of the World Bank Group (WBG) management! She will have responsibility for the bank's Africa, South Asia, Europe and central Asia regions. She's also well known outside Nigeria as a corruption buster and seen as a key figure in helping secure the cancellation of $30 billion (21.2 billion EUR) of Nigeria's debt. Madam, more grease to your elbows o! This is not the last stop for you.... Ngozi Okojo-Iweala for president!!!! Hooray (x3)... Even 'Baba' could not hold you down! Don't mind the man jare..... after chopping and cleaning mouth!! He didn't want you to tu (let loose) his ashiri (secrets). Anyway when you're ready to take the mantle of office, give me a holla and we'll talk business... all I want is to be your campaign manager.... you are my role model!
Whatelse... apparently some Muslim medical students are refusing to attend lectures or answer exam questions on alcohol-related or sexually transmitted diseases because they claim.... and get this..... that it offends their religius beliefs .... is it just me, or shouldn't they fail the buggers and kick them out of medical school??? What type of Doctors would the UK be churning out if we had idiots like these in our hospitals??? Come on...Infact it's gone as far as some trainee doctors (they are trainee o... not evem full fledged!! Exam, they never pass o!!!) say learning to treat the disease conflicts with their faith, which states that Muslims should not drink alcohol and rejects sexual promiscuity.... yeah.... and you're not the same people who raped and pillaged your way through history eh??? Hmmmm. In addition,some Musllim medical students refuse to treat patients of the opposite sex... one male student was prepared to fail his final exams rather than examine a female student. At this point, am boiling and before I say anything blasphemous.... why the hell did they NOT fail him???? Is this not a CHRISTIAN country?? If you want to live here, then conform.... it's as simple as that! Get it! To the bleeding bureaucrats who allow this rubbish to go on..... you'd better be careful, 'cos what you're doing is laying a foundation for 'erasing' (and it's that) the culture and history of this great country! Be warned....
Last words... Rafa, what the 'f' are you up to? Why are we loosing???? If we're not careful we'll be booted out of Champions League.... everyone (and I mean the English teams) is at the top of their tables EXCEPT us.... and where are we?? THIRD!!!! What??? And it's not like we're top of the table in the Premiership either! Hmmmm bros, e be liek say you better get your act together before I have to visit a juju man to make you see sense o!!! Help us o!
Anyways have a great week ahead.... Catch y'all soon.
-'boo xxx
Wednesday 26 September 2007
About time too!
Leaders of the Episcopal Church in the United States have agreed to halt the ordination of gay clergy to prevent a split in the Anglican Church. The Church will also no longer approve prayers to bless same-sex couples. o ma ya wan gaan ni o! Imagine! Who would have thought that the cries of a few hundred million people on the 'Dark Continent' herewith known as Africa could have such an effect! Apparently, it wasn't until the African Anglicans threatened to leave the worldwide Anglican Communion after the ordination of the first openly gay bishop four years ago, that the Americans decided to 'yield'! I love this part .... 'The American Church was told to meet the conditions by 30 September or lose membership of the communion'.... Ha! In your face... we GAVE them an ultimatum! And the buggers caved in! Must have been the loss of all those tithes to Africa - or was it to Naija in particular that made them have a rethink. Yes, yes, say what you want, but we're probably the MOST religious nation in the WORLD! Think off all those streets in Lagos (alone... or where ever it is you come from).... thinking?? Now think of how MANY churches are on these streets... I bet you there'd be at least four (yup, 4)... that one on either side and at each corner :) for good measure! Now let's put back all that Christ taught us back into the church and into being Christian.
Now there's signs up all over supermarkets and anywhere that sells alcohol saying '21?'... apparently you can't sell alcohol to anyone under the age of 21. Picture this... up walks (or maybe 'bent over' (not funny!) walks) a seventy two (72) year old man into Morrisons - former Safeway in the UK before they were bought by yet another Yankee store to the counter with two bottles of Cabernet Sauvignon. Conversation goes like this:
Check-out staff: "Good afternoon sir"
Mr Tony Ralls: "Good afternoon young man"
Check out staff (who we'll just label cos in future): "Can you confirm you are over 21?"
Tony: "No"
COS: "Can I see some ID please"
Tony: "No, where's your manager?"
2 mins later...
Manager: "Are you over 21?"
Tony: "No" (But thinking to himself... Are you a fool?)
Manager: 'Well, we won't serve you'." Picks up the bottles of wine and storms off!
Poor Tony, he says he felt embarrassed to return to the supermarket and wanted an apology for "the stupid and unnecessary confrontation." He adds: "I applaud any efforts to stop kids being served and standing on street corners getting drunk. But this was just totally stupid." I agree Tony... after ALL the decades you've lived on this earth, you get asked by some idiot (or 2 in this case) who is young enough to be your grandchild (or great-grandchild sef, if y'all started early).... I don't blame the dummy, it's because he hasn't been taught to respect his elders. If he had been given an 'ifoti' (a backhand slap - the most painful of them all!) or two he wouldn't dare ask that kind stupid question! Morrisons response was: "We take our responsibility with regard to selling alcohol very seriously and all our stores operate the Task 21 scheme, which addresses the difficulties our staff face in being able to determine if a customer is legally old enough to buy alcohol. "To further limit any element of doubt staff at the West Kirby store are required to ask anyone buying alcohol to confirm that they are over 21." And that doesn't answer the question Mr spokesman... someone OBVIOUSLY NEEDS to be replaced! Come on... how young could Tony look... when he's not Michael Douglas! Haba!
O well.... gotta shoot off now... Hey, Heroes Season 2 is BACK! yippee!!! and are you staying tuned to Prison Break Season 3? Please don't tell me what happened, fell asleep... I know.... terrible. But I did manage to catch America's Next Top Model Season 8.... watch it! Autumn is in... yippee... Welcome back QUALITY TV...
Adios folks...
-'boo xxx
Now there's signs up all over supermarkets and anywhere that sells alcohol saying '21?'... apparently you can't sell alcohol to anyone under the age of 21. Picture this... up walks (or maybe 'bent over' (not funny!) walks) a seventy two (72) year old man into Morrisons - former Safeway in the UK before they were bought by yet another Yankee store to the counter with two bottles of Cabernet Sauvignon. Conversation goes like this:
Check-out staff: "Good afternoon sir"
Mr Tony Ralls: "Good afternoon young man"
Check out staff (who we'll just label cos in future): "Can you confirm you are over 21?"
Tony: "No"
COS: "Can I see some ID please"
Tony: "No, where's your manager?"
2 mins later...
Manager: "Are you over 21?"
Tony: "No" (But thinking to himself... Are you a fool?)
Manager: 'Well, we won't serve you'." Picks up the bottles of wine and storms off!
Poor Tony, he says he felt embarrassed to return to the supermarket and wanted an apology for "the stupid and unnecessary confrontation." He adds: "I applaud any efforts to stop kids being served and standing on street corners getting drunk. But this was just totally stupid." I agree Tony... after ALL the decades you've lived on this earth, you get asked by some idiot (or 2 in this case) who is young enough to be your grandchild (or great-grandchild sef, if y'all started early).... I don't blame the dummy, it's because he hasn't been taught to respect his elders. If he had been given an 'ifoti' (a backhand slap - the most painful of them all!) or two he wouldn't dare ask that kind stupid question! Morrisons response was: "We take our responsibility with regard to selling alcohol very seriously and all our stores operate the Task 21 scheme, which addresses the difficulties our staff face in being able to determine if a customer is legally old enough to buy alcohol. "To further limit any element of doubt staff at the West Kirby store are required to ask anyone buying alcohol to confirm that they are over 21." And that doesn't answer the question Mr spokesman... someone OBVIOUSLY NEEDS to be replaced! Come on... how young could Tony look... when he's not Michael Douglas! Haba!
O well.... gotta shoot off now... Hey, Heroes Season 2 is BACK! yippee!!! and are you staying tuned to Prison Break Season 3? Please don't tell me what happened, fell asleep... I know.... terrible. But I did manage to catch America's Next Top Model Season 8.... watch it! Autumn is in... yippee... Welcome back QUALITY TV...
Adios folks...
-'boo xxx
Sunday 23 September 2007
Who are these FREAKS??
You guys watching the X-Factor auditions? Now there've been all sorts, but today's 'goats' take the biscuit - quite literally! Let's see, there was Raj who is a pharmacist by profession.... he claims he has spent close to 50k.. that's Britsh Pounds and not .... er what's the currency in India - ehen, Rupples.. oops, Rupees. Anyhoo Raj claims he's so musically inclined he's resigned from his job! So up he steps onto the 'X', opens his mouth and WAILS! Yup, that's as in he couldn't sing to save his life! To top it all off, he was 'surprised' they ALL said a big, resounding, emphatic N-O! Simon... and I love Mr. Cowell, he told him... 'Raj, I suggest you go back to your day job, 'cos you have as much chance of being in the music business as I have of going to the moon'! Hilarious!!! Freak 2 was some blck woman (obviously African and thankfully NOT Naija.... last year was bad enough, when some strange dude with a whole mouth of teeth made a complete and total fool of himself!!) that wore an England t-shirt and kept saying 'Am gunna win for England'... Err love, this is a Brit show.... and when she got her 3 'yeses'... we'll call her Mrs African... she's 46 by the way. Anyhoo Mrs African goes... again 'Am so excited, am gunna win for England.... Hallelujah'! Where did that come from? Freaky 3 was some HUGE and I mean humongous 17 year old girl, who arrived with her even bigger family in a frock! You heard me... a frock made by her dad.... looked like a snow white re-creation, except it's longer, dowdier and in XXXXXXL! You should have seen the look on the judges faces when she said quite proudly 'My daddy made my dress'. Needless to say fattie (no offense to anyone 'blessed' with a Little somethin' somethin') didn't make it... well, how could she when she couldn't remember her words... she went out, the 'Rolling' Family rolled in... well actually they stormed in, but I thought that sounded better (easy to imagine anyway). Before they could attack anyway... Mr C shut them up... straight! The man is lucky he is oyingbo... he could have been an Isale Eko indigene. Freak 4.... Dawn by name, who said she was an Apprentice jockey..... naturally Louis and Sharon and eventually Danni ALL burst out in laughter and Simon had to boot them out.... picture this, a 'modestly' put size 18 person, who says she wants to be the next Madonna! (In her dreams anyway).... O did I tell you she was all 'leathered up'... in a VERY short skirt and those caps gay biker boys don. Then she opened her mouth and 'whispered' her song.... dip! And let's not forget the five and a half month preggers woman with hardly any teeth who with her partner got abuse when she got her yes revoked.... come on... these things are stressful enough for those eating for '1'!! She claimed she was ready to do what it takes.... er I guess that included killing her baby! Some people!! The guy probably thought.... hmm my ticket to leaving the council flat we currently live in! Idiots!
And what the .....xxxxxxxxx........does Rafa think he is up to? He ALWAYS does this.... we should be on top now at the start of the season, so that towards the end when the Champions League matches are in full swing, we don't have to hustle!!! So what does he do.... leaves out Torres AGAIN from the starting line up! So we drew against the Brummies.... the only thing we'll be praying for now is that ManU V Chelsea ends in a draw tomorrow.... honestly Rafa, either you do your job or I'll be forced to stalk you till you get it right!
Just got in from Lille and am fagged out to say the least... I'll leave you with a few hilarious clips from the just concluded x-factor auditions... Enjoy.
-'boo xxx
And what the .....xxxxxxxxx........does Rafa think he is up to? He ALWAYS does this.... we should be on top now at the start of the season, so that towards the end when the Champions League matches are in full swing, we don't have to hustle!!! So what does he do.... leaves out Torres AGAIN from the starting line up! So we drew against the Brummies.... the only thing we'll be praying for now is that ManU V Chelsea ends in a draw tomorrow.... honestly Rafa, either you do your job or I'll be forced to stalk you till you get it right!
Just got in from Lille and am fagged out to say the least... I'll leave you with a few hilarious clips from the just concluded x-factor auditions... Enjoy.
-'boo xxx
Thursday 20 September 2007
Ding Dong the bane of English footie's been moved on!
Whooppee!!!!! Great news people, that self-serving, whingeing, nit wit who thinks he is God's gift to football (and English football at that) has FINALLY been given the BOOT! Abramovich, I would say I love you, but that would be a lie... but on behalf of ALL the REAL REDS - I say a deep-felt THANK YOU. So now Mourinho has finally left... supposedly by mutual consent, but we know better...... and none to soon.. shame it wasn't before the Liverpool v Chelsea match, when they were awarded an unfair penalty due to his constant moaning. At the time of his introduction as Chelsea Manager in 2004, he said "Please don't call me arrogant, but I'm European champion and I think I'm a special one".... talk about blowing one's trumpet! Well to be honest, you've got to do that to move along (preferably UP in the real world), but how about letting 'us' call you the special one? Let your achievements speak for you... OK, right now I may be shooting myself in the foot, seeing as of the 185 games he was in charge of Chelsea, they won 124, drew 40 and lost 21, a record that includes a 60-match unbeaten run in Premier League matches at Stamford Bridge!! And honestly, you've got to give the man credit/respect for that... his mouth just got in the way of his otherwise good work! He's reportedly been given a £10m pay-off by the Blues...Good for him...... like I care! Anyway, the important thing is at least he's out! Chapter Mourinho closed! Funny I was just discussing Chelsea with a 'gunner' last night... and hoping that Chelsea fell so far down the league table, they;d be struggling to get out of relegation (wishful thinking you may say..... but you never know....)!
So who's next? Rumours are it'll be Avram Grant ..... the man brought in as Director of Football (whatever that means) and Jose's nemesis. I can't wait for Sunday's match ... ManU v Chelsea... Sir Alex, work your magic!
In the meantime, here's three hearty cheers to Abramovich for booting Jose.....
- 'boo xxx
So who's next? Rumours are it'll be Avram Grant ..... the man brought in as Director of Football (whatever that means) and Jose's nemesis. I can't wait for Sunday's match ... ManU v Chelsea... Sir Alex, work your magic!
In the meantime, here's three hearty cheers to Abramovich for booting Jose.....
- 'boo xxx
Wednesday 12 September 2007
Part II
So where were we.. o yes, poor sod Thierry Henry has split from his English wife after 4 years of marriage pere (only!).... Seems the soon-to-be ex-WAG (wives and girlfriends - a term coined to describe the wives and girlfriends of footballers) will be making a killing (and i mean this quite literally) off her ex-husband when the divorce is final.... a whooping £10,000,000.00 (thought I'd write it in figures for full effects... did you count the number of zeroes?? And note, it's British Pounds, not jankara change o! Anyway, Claire AKA Nicole Merry, remember awoof dey run belle!!
Funnyyyyy the twins from Big Brother - Sam and Amanda Marchant have recorded their music debut - a cover of Aqua's 1990s hit Barbie Girl. The 19-year-old twins, from Newcastle-under-Lyme, who were joint runners up in the show, said: "It's a dream come true for us to record our favourite song of all time". I wonder what their first was.... O and I wonder if Amanda and Brian have 'hooked up' yet? Something tells me not... he's probably still in Lakeside, buying more white baseball caps and goodness knows whatelse! Well Brian, 100k pounds is a lot... better buy a house in your town Essex with the change! Just in case you want to buy their single, it's out next month... :) Enjoy.
- 'boo xxx
Funnyyyyy the twins from Big Brother - Sam and Amanda Marchant have recorded their music debut - a cover of Aqua's 1990s hit Barbie Girl. The 19-year-old twins, from Newcastle-under-Lyme, who were joint runners up in the show, said: "It's a dream come true for us to record our favourite song of all time". I wonder what their first was.... O and I wonder if Amanda and Brian have 'hooked up' yet? Something tells me not... he's probably still in Lakeside, buying more white baseball caps and goodness knows whatelse! Well Brian, 100k pounds is a lot... better buy a house in your town Essex with the change! Just in case you want to buy their single, it's out next month... :) Enjoy.
- 'boo xxx
Those Niger Delta buggers!
First off, before I forget... I can't believe I didn't big up my boys for their 6-0 (yes, for all you doubting Thomas's, that's S-I-X G-O-A-L-S to N-O-T-H-I-N-G!) trouncing of Derby 2 weeks ago was it... I forget, the taste of absolute victory is still SWEET in my mouth! Now that's spelling d-e-r-b-y and including jara (extra).... lol! Fabulous boys keep up the good work... if you are still confused about who am talking about... it's the REAL Reds... the one and only bera (better) club... Liverpooooooooollllllllllllllll. (This means final, no competitors etc...!) Anyhoo, so it's away to Portsmouth this weekend.... please god of victors in football, let my team win (and spell portsmouth too)... that would be a first... let them be a sign to all the doubting Thomas's out there that we are numero uno (well, which we are right now, not to blow our trumpet). Give Rafa our esteemed Coach, wisdom, our Goalie (Reina or whoever keeps) an invisible shield to block ALL incoming attempts and actuals both from the other side and ourselves (we don't need no own goals!), our Defenders defense-sense, our Mid-fielders legs to carry the ball always to the other side and our Strikers legs like a Buddha, so they cab score score and score some more! Thank you god of footie....
So apparently those twits in Niger Delta who call themselves 'militants' (yeah right fellas... dream on!) had the nerve to kidnap 11 (not 1 o! But eleven) governing officials from Ondo state!!! And why? It was due to a row over payments for alleged vote-rigging! My people, what can I say? First you cross over into another tribe, then another man's state!! INSULT upon Injury! For y'all who don't know, as much as we (and by we, I mean Naijas) like to think (or should that be pretend) that we are all 'one', we are NOT! We base sentiments on tribes and even within tribes, we have ... what shall we say... we're very villaglistic (i.e. where your papa come from - translates to what village are you from?) So for a Niger Delta person to not only 'stray' into our land, but to also seize our kinsmen... well, there is a problem then? And look at the reason? How can they expect to be credible and be able to justify their actions (not that it's justifiable) if they were looking for 'egunje' (aka Kickback aka bribe equals CORRUPTION!) Come on!! The fools (what else can they be) say the Ondo state governor, Dr Olusegun Agagu, reneged on an agreement to pay them for helping rig the April election. Imagine! Shame no catch them o! The kidnappers are demanding a ransom of nearly $4m (like that's the number of yams they should be growing on their farms!). Such utter nonsense!
Look Mr President when are you going to put an end to this rubbish! It's getting out of hands now. Why should poor innocent people be held to ransom, just cos some uneducated (refusing to go to school), nappy haired, gun-wielding, wanna-be Che Guevara miscreants think they can claim money on their heads! Abi ki le feel (What do you think?) Honestly, my blood is boiling and I have to run, lunch break is over.... catch you this evening... the girl is BACK!:) I do apologise for leaving you in a lurch...
- 'boo xxx
So apparently those twits in Niger Delta who call themselves 'militants' (yeah right fellas... dream on!) had the nerve to kidnap 11 (not 1 o! But eleven) governing officials from Ondo state!!! And why? It was due to a row over payments for alleged vote-rigging! My people, what can I say? First you cross over into another tribe, then another man's state!! INSULT upon Injury! For y'all who don't know, as much as we (and by we, I mean Naijas) like to think (or should that be pretend) that we are all 'one', we are NOT! We base sentiments on tribes and even within tribes, we have ... what shall we say... we're very villaglistic (i.e. where your papa come from - translates to what village are you from?) So for a Niger Delta person to not only 'stray' into our land, but to also seize our kinsmen... well, there is a problem then? And look at the reason? How can they expect to be credible and be able to justify their actions (not that it's justifiable) if they were looking for 'egunje' (aka Kickback aka bribe equals CORRUPTION!) Come on!! The fools (what else can they be) say the Ondo state governor, Dr Olusegun Agagu, reneged on an agreement to pay them for helping rig the April election. Imagine! Shame no catch them o! The kidnappers are demanding a ransom of nearly $4m (like that's the number of yams they should be growing on their farms!). Such utter nonsense!
Look Mr President when are you going to put an end to this rubbish! It's getting out of hands now. Why should poor innocent people be held to ransom, just cos some uneducated (refusing to go to school), nappy haired, gun-wielding, wanna-be Che Guevara miscreants think they can claim money on their heads! Abi ki le feel (What do you think?) Honestly, my blood is boiling and I have to run, lunch break is over.... catch you this evening... the girl is BACK!:) I do apologise for leaving you in a lurch...
- 'boo xxx
Tuesday 11 September 2007
Victim of the Fashion Industry
I just realised I've been ignoring all a y'all and am really sorry about that. Just beginning to get my life back into some sort of order. Anyhoo, not to bore you or anything... 'anyhoo' - I am feeling that word now, aren't you? Ok, I digress as always what's up with the fashion industry? First they make our clothes smaller, especially for us 'gifted' women and now they've hit an all time LOW... this time with shoes! Can you believe that? You walk into a store, knowing full well you're a size 5 - that's a continental 38 to the Europeans and a 6.5 to you yanks (hint! hint!... if you need the addy, let me know, will send it with all pleasure). Anyhoo, so I walk into a store (one I've used before o!) and my eyes spot these lovely pair of slippers.....conversation went like this:
Me to the sales girl, 'Do you have this in a size 5 please'.
Sales girl: 'I'll check, please wait'
Me: 'Thanks' (am so polite aren't I?)
5 minutes later
Sales girl: 'Here you go' (thank goodness she didn't say those dreaded words - mam')
So at this point, I try them on.... and yeah, my feet were a bit 'crusty' and shall I add 'corny' at the time but it seemed tight. Used the mirror to see if my feet were 'in' the slippers and yeah they were.... but just didn't feel right. Asked if they had it in a size 6... no joy, but being helpful, they're store in SW London did have it.... too far I thought (I was in the west end. It was a Wednesday and this lady had a groove - actually my b'day party on Friday and I got them in desperation. Tried them on the next day with the party gear and couldn't even walk! (but get this, I could dance... women do I hear some of you men say?) Had my manicure and pedicure .... tried them on, and nope, no joy! So I did the smart thing and got another pair... this time in a 6!! From another store though, but the 5 didn't fit, so it was the 6 I had to buy! Ok so this started with me lamenting about them cheating us first with clothes, now shoes... so how can I (or any of you ladies) get a 'free' pair of shoes off a man that you'll love and WILL fit if sizes aren't consistent? I did ask in Faith where I got the second pair from, and the girl confirmed that shoe sizes have gone smaller. Who the hell do these people make shoes and clothes for? Mini-mes????? I mean, come on people!! There is such a thing as 'average size'..... and average size does not equate to all the lollipop ladies out there (you know, those 'rexy' - as dumb Kate Moss calls herself - more anorexic than rexy, which is a combo from anorexic and sexy .. NOT!) and anyway, have you noticed all those lollipop girls (call them that 'cos they have BIG head and stick thin bodies... urgh!) have big ass feet! So tell me, how can you make shoes smaller then??? No common sense! I am a 5, I like to tell the world am a 5! I enjoy having small feet!!! So why are you making it seem like I have giant feet????? Soon I'll be 'upgraded' to a 7! I might be suing them... stay tuned!
It's 9-11, and we remember all those who lost their lives when those buggers hijacked and crashed planes into the World Trade Center and tried to crash another plane into the Pentagon. May their souls continue to rest in peace. As for them buggers... I hope you got the 24 virgins (or is it 100) that you did all this for .... more like a pit for each of you, filled with serpents with pain-tipped arrows for skin, to welcome you, who'll flay your skin every time you twitch... which will be like mmmm every second!
Hmmm and Gerry and Katie McCann, (parents of 4 year old Madeline McCann who was taken while they were on holiday in Portugal) have been named as suspects in the case of their daughter's disappearance! All I can say is I sure hope the Portuguese KNOW what they're on about... 'cos if the real abductor(s)/killer(s) - God forbid this part are out there, then goodness knows how many more kids are at risk! PLEASE.... I WANT to have kids... and don't need to be looking over my back every second (even though, really if I went on holiday... we either ALL do dinner in a restaurant or dinner in the hotel room)! Call me old fashioned, but when you have a family, your first responsibility aside from God is to them! Anyway, they say her DNA was found in the boot of the car... err folks, it would be. It was afterall the rental they used BEFORE she was taken!! Come on folks... just 'cos they took you guys to court and criticized you for your shall we say inadequacies.... does not make them killers. At this juncture I say... adios, don't want to have to eat my hat if they are the 'whodunits'!
Aiight folks, Veronica Mars time... see ya... O if I don't 'see' you before Saturday.. good luck my beloved team (LIVERPOOL - for those who don't know....) and may we have an 8-0 win this time :). When will the 'Hamster' stop crashing cars? If you're not familiar with Top Gear, that's Richard Hammond... I hope he is ok?
Catch you soon...take care for now.
-'boo xxx
P.s I do hope am entertaining you guys? xxx
Me to the sales girl, 'Do you have this in a size 5 please'.
Sales girl: 'I'll check, please wait'
Me: 'Thanks' (am so polite aren't I?)
5 minutes later
Sales girl: 'Here you go' (thank goodness she didn't say those dreaded words - mam')
So at this point, I try them on.... and yeah, my feet were a bit 'crusty' and shall I add 'corny' at the time but it seemed tight. Used the mirror to see if my feet were 'in' the slippers and yeah they were.... but just didn't feel right. Asked if they had it in a size 6... no joy, but being helpful, they're store in SW London did have it.... too far I thought (I was in the west end. It was a Wednesday and this lady had a groove - actually my b'day party on Friday and I got them in desperation. Tried them on the next day with the party gear and couldn't even walk! (but get this, I could dance... women do I hear some of you men say?) Had my manicure and pedicure .... tried them on, and nope, no joy! So I did the smart thing and got another pair... this time in a 6!! From another store though, but the 5 didn't fit, so it was the 6 I had to buy! Ok so this started with me lamenting about them cheating us first with clothes, now shoes... so how can I (or any of you ladies) get a 'free' pair of shoes off a man that you'll love and WILL fit if sizes aren't consistent? I did ask in Faith where I got the second pair from, and the girl confirmed that shoe sizes have gone smaller. Who the hell do these people make shoes and clothes for? Mini-mes????? I mean, come on people!! There is such a thing as 'average size'..... and average size does not equate to all the lollipop ladies out there (you know, those 'rexy' - as dumb Kate Moss calls herself - more anorexic than rexy, which is a combo from anorexic and sexy .. NOT!) and anyway, have you noticed all those lollipop girls (call them that 'cos they have BIG head and stick thin bodies... urgh!) have big ass feet! So tell me, how can you make shoes smaller then??? No common sense! I am a 5, I like to tell the world am a 5! I enjoy having small feet!!! So why are you making it seem like I have giant feet????? Soon I'll be 'upgraded' to a 7! I might be suing them... stay tuned!
It's 9-11, and we remember all those who lost their lives when those buggers hijacked and crashed planes into the World Trade Center and tried to crash another plane into the Pentagon. May their souls continue to rest in peace. As for them buggers... I hope you got the 24 virgins (or is it 100) that you did all this for .... more like a pit for each of you, filled with serpents with pain-tipped arrows for skin, to welcome you, who'll flay your skin every time you twitch... which will be like mmmm every second!
Hmmm and Gerry and Katie McCann, (parents of 4 year old Madeline McCann who was taken while they were on holiday in Portugal) have been named as suspects in the case of their daughter's disappearance! All I can say is I sure hope the Portuguese KNOW what they're on about... 'cos if the real abductor(s)/killer(s) - God forbid this part are out there, then goodness knows how many more kids are at risk! PLEASE.... I WANT to have kids... and don't need to be looking over my back every second (even though, really if I went on holiday... we either ALL do dinner in a restaurant or dinner in the hotel room)! Call me old fashioned, but when you have a family, your first responsibility aside from God is to them! Anyway, they say her DNA was found in the boot of the car... err folks, it would be. It was afterall the rental they used BEFORE she was taken!! Come on folks... just 'cos they took you guys to court and criticized you for your shall we say inadequacies.... does not make them killers. At this juncture I say... adios, don't want to have to eat my hat if they are the 'whodunits'!
Aiight folks, Veronica Mars time... see ya... O if I don't 'see' you before Saturday.. good luck my beloved team (LIVERPOOL - for those who don't know....) and may we have an 8-0 win this time :). When will the 'Hamster' stop crashing cars? If you're not familiar with Top Gear, that's Richard Hammond... I hope he is ok?
Catch you soon...take care for now.
-'boo xxx
P.s I do hope am entertaining you guys? xxx
Monday 3 September 2007
It's a New Beginning
Hey, it's been a long long time since I've blogged. How have y'all been? I trust you've been in good health? It's my birthday in 3 days and I've decided that it's time to be grateful to God Almighty for good health, for a good life, for family, for friends and more importantly for LIFE! These days, I seem to dream about a wooden box in the earth, but I've decided it's time to shirk it all and be thankful. So what have y'all been up to while I took a hiatus? Hmmm...hope you've been good? So the Premiership has started here in the UK... I do hope you all saw Liverpool, my beloved club whoop Derby... infact we spelt Derby and gave them jara (extra :)). What a wonderful day it was .... and now who do you think the dondadas are at the top of the table? You guessed right... US! Take that Mourinho. Thank you Aston Villa for doing what we were denied... O yes, all you whinging Chelsea fans out there... the sooner you tell your manager to shut it and actually do some MANAGING, the better! Where was I? O yes, thanks to Villa for whopping Chelsea by 2 whole goals to NOTHING! What a joyful day it was... infact, what a wonderful weekend I had. So the sooner Mourinho shuts his yap, the better for all of us. Now the dip claims the race for the title is open. Open for who? No chance Blues.... take that from me! So it's onto Portsmouth this weekend... Good luck to the REAL Reds! Show them who the dondadas are! Chelsea faces Blackburn, let's all pray that it's an ass-kicking! :) O and ManU.. come on guys, whatagwan? Why are you guys 8th in the league? Yeah, yeah I know it's early....but thankfully you won your match on Saturday.... but I must say well done to Roy Keane and his team.... you managed to stave off your old manager .... well done. Anyway, let the victory dance continue..... Remember our whopping of Toulouse last week, the score line was wait for it... 4-0! Ha! Keep doing me proud boys, Keep up the good work Rafa.... keep doing your baby proud.
Anyway in other news, Liberia (yup the country) has discovered over 7,000 people on its payroll that don't exist or work for it... lol! Ghost workers they are called.... why this is news is beyond me? They should ask all levels of government in Nigeria, ghost workers are like the norm over there. Another of George Bush's pals has been caught looking for a shag in the men's loos! Really, Georgie.... one would have thought that with the way you preach fire and brimstone, your pals would be in full fear of the wrath of the Lord! (No jokes here) Senator Larry Craig@62, who claims he is not gay and that the police misconstrued his actions. Yeah man, you keep telling yourself that. The man has decided to plead guilty to soliciting (although it turns out he did it without legal advice). What's next for Georgie and his cronies? Who cares!
Hmmm thankfully I have got my full UK Licence! And to those who think it's like yam to collect...well make I see you try to get yours. Anyhoo from Monday it'll be more difficult to pass the theory test. Learners will have to answer more questions, 50 in total (yeah, I know it use to be 30). It's going up to 50 questions now.... here you go, try this http://news.bbc.co.uk/go/pr/fr/-/1/hi/magazine/6976319.stm Note you need to answer 9 out 10 to pass :) I did (not that am one to brag - NOT!).... enjoy!
What else... I'd had so much to write... but my brain is shutting down now, it's gone past my bedtime... Good night and sweet dreams :)
- 'boo
xxx
Anyway in other news, Liberia (yup the country) has discovered over 7,000 people on its payroll that don't exist or work for it... lol! Ghost workers they are called.... why this is news is beyond me? They should ask all levels of government in Nigeria, ghost workers are like the norm over there. Another of George Bush's pals has been caught looking for a shag in the men's loos! Really, Georgie.... one would have thought that with the way you preach fire and brimstone, your pals would be in full fear of the wrath of the Lord! (No jokes here) Senator Larry Craig@62, who claims he is not gay and that the police misconstrued his actions. Yeah man, you keep telling yourself that. The man has decided to plead guilty to soliciting (although it turns out he did it without legal advice). What's next for Georgie and his cronies? Who cares!
Hmmm thankfully I have got my full UK Licence! And to those who think it's like yam to collect...well make I see you try to get yours. Anyhoo from Monday it'll be more difficult to pass the theory test. Learners will have to answer more questions, 50 in total (yeah, I know it use to be 30). It's going up to 50 questions now.... here you go, try this http://news.bbc.co.uk/go/pr/fr/-/1/hi/magazine/6976319.stm Note you need to answer 9 out 10 to pass :) I did (not that am one to brag - NOT!).... enjoy!
What else... I'd had so much to write... but my brain is shutting down now, it's gone past my bedtime... Good night and sweet dreams :)
- 'boo
xxx
Friday 24 August 2007
An ode to my dear, dear cousin - Cos Tunde.
Dear Cousin Tunde, First let me ask, how are you doing on the other side? What's it really like? Have you seen Jesus yet? Or your Dad or my Grandparents? How could it be that you left us so early? It seems so unfair that people who commit the worst crimes are still alive, kicking and in good health! Yet, the do-gooders, the earthly angels, those who spend their lifetime bringing joy to other people's lives such as yourself are snatched away by the cold, cold hands of death at an early age. Why? You were only 46 and it was assumed that we would rock out your 50th, 60th and at least 70th birthdays. You were so full of life..... you use to call me a foolish girl, for allowing those 'foolish' boys to pull the wool over my eyes. You always promised you would show me a good time, show me how the 'boys' did it? We never did get the chance to do that, did we? I never went to see you in hospital, 'cos I assumed you would be home for sure. how could I know? I feel guilty, 'cos I should have! But I thought at the time, I had to support your family, so I went to your home every other night.... little did I know that you would not be back. I feel cheated but then, why should I be, when you have kids who didn't even know you as long as I did? Dad wanted to come in, to see you... he said he was there at the beginning, at your birth and wanted to be there to see you committed to mother earth... but those uneducated twits at the the British High Comm in Lagos (and I hope y'all are reading this) said 'Am sorry Mr Thorpe, we couldn't read your fingerprints'. What fingerprints? Don't they have a procedure in place on how people should place their fingers for them to be read? Anyway at least he didn't miss the naming of his first grandchild, the first son of the first son of the first son of the first son of the first son! But his thoughts are with yours'....Am sure you were at the funeral 'in spirit', did you see all the people who turned out to bid you goodnight? (I say goodnight cos it's not permanent, we shall see you again, at some point) Your family, (both here and the ones who came in from all over the world), your friends, (those here and the ones who came in from abroad), your work colleagues, (past and present), your patients (those here and those who came in from Nigeria). They all had nothing but good things to say about you.... and it was all TRUE, cos they really saw you for who you were. We tried to be strong, to be brave, for if we breakdown cursing and crying as friends and extended family, what would Aunty Doctor (your mum), Aunt 'Lizabeth, Tele, Yemi, Tami and Feyisayo do? What do Cos M, Cos Iyabo and Cos Dupe, your siblings do? Besides that, you wouldn't have wanted us to cry.... you were the life of the party. Cousin Muyiwa gave a most eloquent tribute to you. Am sure you heard it and were most proud that he has finally understood that to grab the average crowd, speak the Queen's English the way it was meant to be spoken.... pronouncing every syllable and delivering your speech crisply. Tele, she said the most beautiful things to you and about you. She cried a bit, but you would have been so, so proud of the way in which she spoke, everyone was impressed. She spent all night writing that tribute to you and 'boy Oguns' was everything succinctly delivered! She 'shattered' her GCSEs and was sad you were not there to physically hear her results... but I bet you know that she did you proud. Yemi took it hard at first, but seems to be getting better. We're bonding better now, he was the first of the lot to call me Cos D....now they all do. The service, I cried - you know me, always ready to shed a tear or two, or three :) but I didn't weep. I went to the cemetery and saw your coffin. I watched for a bit as you were put in the ground, but had to turn away after that. It all seemed so final, so real. I couldn't take it anymore, I didn't understand it. I didn't understand life. I am not sure I ever will. Orim and Olo, they've been VERY good friends. They cried.... it was good to see African men and more to the point, Naija men cry. You will be pleased to know you have many, many good friends. It's a blessing. I still haven't broken down, still haven't really grieved, I stop the tears by making myself 'busy'..... maybe now is the time to just let it all out so that I can move on? Yet how can I? Yet I feel I am, as I write, the tears flow freely when I remember moments in time we shared. You came up to Aber with me, you, cos m, Aunty Doctor and mum to celebrate my graduation with an MBA (yeah, yeah, hard to believe I am actually intelligent!). Still have the pics, and will scan it in to complete this ode.
Got more bad news again this evening, Aunt Lara passed on yesterday at 43. She would have been 44 next month. Am tired and worn out! Life is so, so unfair.
On the flip side, Olumide and Ymc had a baby boy, 2 days after you died.... He is called Oluwagbeminiyi (meaning God has given me honour). He met you, before he was born.... what a shame you aren't around to tease him and 'stress' him as he grows older :).
We will all be OK, for we know you would not want us to weep, but to get on with living and to enjoy life like you did. Your life was always filled with excitement and fun... and I will start living myself from today. You taught me to enjoy the 'finer' things of life... and I will, and I promise, my next car will be the coupe we talked about. I miss you cousin Tunde. Mill Hill will never be the same without you, but what can we do, but to take comfort in the knowledge that you are in our Saviour's bosom. There's no one to call me 'Damilola', or to say 'see this young girl o', or to call me a 'foolish young girl' or ask me where I got a particularly trendy pair of shoes from or to ask me how my career plans are going or to ask me who the young man in my life is or to harrass whoever it is I finally take home (you did a far better job than cosM would :)) or even to tell me about the next latest trend in the cycling world, which you enjoyed so so much. You made such great plans for the next Tour De France...... How sad that you couldn't achieve it. Your presence will be sorely missed at mum's 60th, cousin Iyabo's 50th, Aunty doctor's 80th, my wedding day... and at all times when the family meet. You're gone for now, but I thank God I knew you and I especially thank Him for making you a member of my family. Do not worry, we will care for those you left behind. We will live by the principles which governed your life....'enjoy life to the fullest', 'see opportunities when they come and grasp them', 'live each day doing something good for someone', 'learn from your life's experiences or those of those and improve upon it the next time round', 'education is the bedrock of knowledge' and 'smile at all times, for it costs you nothing and may bring a ray of hope to another'.
Farewell dear cousin. Farewell, till we meet again. Till then, Rest in Perfect Peace.
Loads and loads and loads of Love now and always.... Dami
- 'boo xxx
Friday 10 August 2007
Nigerians and their vices!
So Naijas have been in the news again. Wish it was good news ‘this time’, but alas as always it’s always for the ‘bad’ things that we’re known for. In this case, the usual suspects – drugs and illegal immigration! First off, in the just concluded Scouts Jamboree in England (celebrating 100 years of their founding), the following scouts were discovered missing: 9 were from Uganda and Bangladesh (of course I have to mention the fact that others were involved in absconding from the Scouts grounds! Wouldn’t be patriotic otherwise and besides they didn’t even make it to the camp grounds. Lol!) and 4 from Sri-Lanka and Nigeria ‘vanished’ sometime during the 12-day event at Hylands Park, Essex. Police believe the youths aged between 12 and 24 (such a WIDE gap do I hear you say?) may have come to the event purely as a cover up (well you got that right). Now first thing, how old are these naija boys and if they are young (and so hoping they are, and not that they are ’30-something’ year-old MEN pretending to be kids!) Anyhoo they are now illegal immigrants! Don’t people think? This is my grouse with Naijas; they ‘never’ think about those after them… everything is about God dey, Everyman for himself! Now tell me, when there is another celebration in 50 years (to mark 150 years), would you be suprised if they were not given visas by the British Council (if we still have to beg to apply then)? I mean, come on people. It’s not like the streets of Britain and infact anywhere outside Nigeria is paved with gold! People work DAMN hard for their money and to get the simple pleasures of life. You see all these people who go ‘home’, they save for it… so don’t be fooled… and besides, you’re not there when they’re drinking the garri of it! And you lot who return ‘home’, for goodness sake stop ‘flaunting’ wealth you don’t have! It’s creating a false impression for all those who are too stupid (yes, such a strong word but o so VERY true!) to see that no one has a money tree planted in their backyard! I hope that these absconders are caught and deported on the first plane out! Twits! Every last one of them! Now you may say I’m one to talk, considering a not in Nigeria…. But I came here (to the UK) LEGALLY and anyway, I had a job waiting already! All these ‘Andrews’ wanting to check out…. Well all I can say is this – you make your own way yourself. If you can’t ‘make it’ for yourself in your own country, what chance do you have in another country? You either see opportunities or you see obstacles, but more importantly, life is what you make of it. (I use a full stop, ‘cos that’s what it is, it’s final!) Hard work and God’s grace will get you where you want to be, as well as recognising opportunities when they arise!
Anyway, onto the other bad news. Picture this, you’re at MMA (Murtala Muhammed Airport in Lagos, Nigeria) waiting to board the Virgin Atlantic flight VS652 to London Heathrow, when suddenly you’re told after all that hassle of queuing to check-in, bribing customs agents (not that we really do that...), going through the immigration gates (or should that be queuing and being harassed) and finally ‘chilling’ at the desk to board that you’re flight has been cancelled. Cancelled o, not delayed! Reason, a cabin crew member was found with 1.743kg (61.5oz) of cocaine on the plane! What to do with the man? String up the dick head! In this day and age! Is your job not earning you enough money? If it ain’t, then resign and look for other LEGITIMATE opportunities. Abi is it by force? Look Nigerians, stop disgracing us wherever you go. Remember you come from a proud lineage. These ‘get-rich-quick’ schemes don’t work! Don’t you know with money (or anythingelse for that matter) easy come, easy go! As our elders would say, let all those who have ears hear! A word is enough for the wise!
On a lighter note, apparently women drivers are putting themselves and other drivers at risk, by wearing Paris Hilton (not that freak of nature again???) over-sized sunglasses behind the wheel. According to a survey (who conducts these things? And worse, who in their right mind dreams up these surveys (it must be dreamt surely, cos no one in their right thinking ‘awake’ mind would.)). Less than 1 in 5 chooses sunglasses specifically for driving (err, why should we? We gotta look H-O-T behind the wheel). 3 in 5 opt for style before considering safety (not surprised… I would too, infact just treated myself to a NICE looking pair of shades, if I say so myself). O and apparently a fifth of the 800 (pere o! imagine!) women surveyed said they had driven with dirty lenses (now that’s so not on! Urrggh!!! These MUST be the filthy ones that keep their glasses in the glove compartment… mingy girls!). Meanwhile they’ll feel like they’ve ‘pood’ (posed) finish o (Nigeria speak).
Please remember in your prayers my older cos who’s recovering from a minor stroke…. Pray that with every passing day, God will perform new miracles in him. Thanks folks.
Okey dokey, that’s me over and out. Catch you soon.
Take care.
- ‘boo xxx
Anyway, onto the other bad news. Picture this, you’re at MMA (Murtala Muhammed Airport in Lagos, Nigeria) waiting to board the Virgin Atlantic flight VS652 to London Heathrow, when suddenly you’re told after all that hassle of queuing to check-in, bribing customs agents (not that we really do that...), going through the immigration gates (or should that be queuing and being harassed) and finally ‘chilling’ at the desk to board that you’re flight has been cancelled. Cancelled o, not delayed! Reason, a cabin crew member was found with 1.743kg (61.5oz) of cocaine on the plane! What to do with the man? String up the dick head! In this day and age! Is your job not earning you enough money? If it ain’t, then resign and look for other LEGITIMATE opportunities. Abi is it by force? Look Nigerians, stop disgracing us wherever you go. Remember you come from a proud lineage. These ‘get-rich-quick’ schemes don’t work! Don’t you know with money (or anythingelse for that matter) easy come, easy go! As our elders would say, let all those who have ears hear! A word is enough for the wise!
On a lighter note, apparently women drivers are putting themselves and other drivers at risk, by wearing Paris Hilton (not that freak of nature again???) over-sized sunglasses behind the wheel. According to a survey (who conducts these things? And worse, who in their right mind dreams up these surveys (it must be dreamt surely, cos no one in their right thinking ‘awake’ mind would.)). Less than 1 in 5 chooses sunglasses specifically for driving (err, why should we? We gotta look H-O-T behind the wheel). 3 in 5 opt for style before considering safety (not surprised… I would too, infact just treated myself to a NICE looking pair of shades, if I say so myself). O and apparently a fifth of the 800 (pere o! imagine!) women surveyed said they had driven with dirty lenses (now that’s so not on! Urrggh!!! These MUST be the filthy ones that keep their glasses in the glove compartment… mingy girls!). Meanwhile they’ll feel like they’ve ‘pood’ (posed) finish o (Nigeria speak).
Please remember in your prayers my older cos who’s recovering from a minor stroke…. Pray that with every passing day, God will perform new miracles in him. Thanks folks.
Okey dokey, that’s me over and out. Catch you soon.
Take care.
- ‘boo xxx
Wednesday 8 August 2007
Curses and Nympho Gramps
So a group of Nigerian women say they will place a curse on the men in Naija if the government doesn’t free an Igbo separatist leader held for treason. Hmm, na wa o! If you people want to place a curse, feel free to limit it to ONLY Igbo men…. Abeg, I don’t want a useless man o! Lol! Such jokers! So you think your curse will work? Abi where do you think you are? Don’t you lot know that it’s only the Yorubas and by extension the Benin people who can place a curse that actually WORKS! But then again, after all that Okija palaver maybe they do have a working curse. Anyway, my point is this… Get a life! Raise your kids to be ‘good self-respecting men’, rather than the xxxx we all detest. Educate them so they can go into worthwhile professions other than trading, ‘19ing’ and recharge carding!
At the same time, it was reported in BBC News – of all places, that ‘Nigerians go crazy for a title’. First people… this hunt for that title has always been the bane of society. I mean in the old days, if you weren’t a Lady, Lord or an Earl, then you were most definitely a NOBODY! So it is rather hypocritical of the Beeb to headline this rubbish! Obviously their news correspondent needs to (and that would be a NEED) go back to journalism school – preferably NOT Mass Comm. in ‘Lag (do you know anyone who went there who ACTUALLY practices what they studied so ‘hard’ for- do I hear resounding ‘Nope’? Well then!). He (i.e. that man that calls himself a BBC News Correspondent) says to be a traditional chief is like being a small god. As if that’s not bad enough, he goes on to say that it’s seen as the peak of one’s achievement in life. Yeah, right! Hear this from one of the dimwits he interviewed. ‘You don't operate as an ordinary man anymore. As a matter of fact you are supposed to be in the upper bracket of society and that lifts you from the commoner’ says a man who became a chief in Delta State in the 1990s (yup, the time of the rise of the noveau-riche!). Whatever mate! If that’s what rocks your boat, then so be it! Apparently now, titles can be bought for around $200,000 to $250,000 – and yes, that’s thousand US dollars! Anyway the article was littered with words that only a naija can come up with… let’s see, we’ve got ‘pomposity’, ‘symptomatic’ and quite a few words that didn’t fit together, like… ‘Mr Engineer’. Na wa o! I'm rather tired today, haven’t had my 8 hours beauty sleep in about 8 days now. It’s telling on me. The humour is gone. Forgive me.
In political matters, apparently Yar’Adua’s new cabinet is filled with old cronies from Baba’s administration. All I can say is, o boy, better wake up and fashie (forget) Baba ‘Yabo one time! Baba, you’re over 70 (your declared age, but we REALLY know you’re like clocking 90) and supposedly retired! So stay in Otta and keep ‘servicing’ all those sisis (women) that apparently keep knocking on your door. Infact, rumour has it that when Baba was in Aso Rock, he had a ‘cocktail of 3’ daily! Na you o!! I bet Hugh Hefner is jealous .
Ok, the girl’s gotta head out now, traffic building apparently and need to get in a sample question and about 10 pages of reading.
Catch y’all soon.
-‘boo xxx
At the same time, it was reported in BBC News – of all places, that ‘Nigerians go crazy for a title’. First people… this hunt for that title has always been the bane of society. I mean in the old days, if you weren’t a Lady, Lord or an Earl, then you were most definitely a NOBODY! So it is rather hypocritical of the Beeb to headline this rubbish! Obviously their news correspondent needs to (and that would be a NEED) go back to journalism school – preferably NOT Mass Comm. in ‘Lag (do you know anyone who went there who ACTUALLY practices what they studied so ‘hard’ for- do I hear resounding ‘Nope’? Well then!). He (i.e. that man that calls himself a BBC News Correspondent) says to be a traditional chief is like being a small god. As if that’s not bad enough, he goes on to say that it’s seen as the peak of one’s achievement in life. Yeah, right! Hear this from one of the dimwits he interviewed. ‘You don't operate as an ordinary man anymore. As a matter of fact you are supposed to be in the upper bracket of society and that lifts you from the commoner’ says a man who became a chief in Delta State in the 1990s (yup, the time of the rise of the noveau-riche!). Whatever mate! If that’s what rocks your boat, then so be it! Apparently now, titles can be bought for around $200,000 to $250,000 – and yes, that’s thousand US dollars! Anyway the article was littered with words that only a naija can come up with… let’s see, we’ve got ‘pomposity’, ‘symptomatic’ and quite a few words that didn’t fit together, like… ‘Mr Engineer’. Na wa o! I'm rather tired today, haven’t had my 8 hours beauty sleep in about 8 days now. It’s telling on me. The humour is gone. Forgive me.
In political matters, apparently Yar’Adua’s new cabinet is filled with old cronies from Baba’s administration. All I can say is, o boy, better wake up and fashie (forget) Baba ‘Yabo one time! Baba, you’re over 70 (your declared age, but we REALLY know you’re like clocking 90) and supposedly retired! So stay in Otta and keep ‘servicing’ all those sisis (women) that apparently keep knocking on your door. Infact, rumour has it that when Baba was in Aso Rock, he had a ‘cocktail of 3’ daily! Na you o!! I bet Hugh Hefner is jealous .
Ok, the girl’s gotta head out now, traffic building apparently and need to get in a sample question and about 10 pages of reading.
Catch y’all soon.
-‘boo xxx
Tuesday 31 July 2007
Get a LIFE!!!
So unmarried couples should have more legal rights? What a load of BS!!What's next? outlaw marriage? Come on people. Ok, so what if 2.2m (I can't believe the figure is that high) are cohabiting... their choice! If they're too scared to 'take the plunge' then I say leave 'em out to dry when and if they split! not being heartless or anything, but why live with a guy or vice-versa if you can't marry him? His habits certainly won't change, he'll still be the same slob (no offense to those men out there who ACTUALLY do some housework and pitch in) no matter what the state of your relationship is. Why bear children for him, if you can't marry him? In the old days, those poor kids would have borne the brunt of your selfish action and be spat on or called 'b*st*rds' wherever they went. And you, my dear, would be hounded out of town on the next available 'foot wagon' seeing as no one would want you on their bus anyway! You can't have your cake and eat it too!! So there's some lame report from the Law Commission, which states that unwed couples wrongly believe they are protected by what is known as "common law" marriage; solution - place a financial value on the contribution each person makes during the relationship. What a load of crock. As 'Heather of West Sussex (BBC 'have your say') put it, "I thought living together was all about not being committed. If you want the benefits of commitment, get MARRIED!" Hear! Hear! Heather. Anyway this lame proposal would apply to couples with children and childless couples who have lived together for at least two years(only?? Hmmmm)... They say they are not trying to devalue the institution of Marriage, but me thinks differently (as I do). This rubbish report took 2 years to publish and in all probability countless hundreds of thousands of pounds in taxpayers money! Really!! And you guessed right, the government is considering recommendations. I mean, how can you say you're not placing 'living together' and 'marriage' on the same platform when you're proposing such crap? Yes, yes, we have to protect the children, but so many people act without thinking through the consequences. If you choose to 'act' like a wife, then maybe you should MAKE sure you are THE WIFE! Insist on that ringy before you shack up permanently and even worse have kids. Yes, yes, it cuts the bills and saves you having to go through 'that painful (and sometimes messy )divorce' (which is another rant for another day) but when you're shacking-up experience ends, it's the same 'symptoms' that you'll go through. So ... think....Anyway I say NO to this law. The country is already is ruins, family values out the window, and you want to add this to it? May the Good Lord be with us all o!!(The 'o' is very important, it defines where am from :))
In other news (ooo am I feeling like a reporter today) Chanelle (the V.Becks look-alike, who's ambition is to BE a wait for it - professional V.Becks look-alike (don't laugh - even though I am rolling, at least she has some ambition)FINALLY came to her senses and walked, after yet another break up with Ziggy ('did you think it was as good for her as it was for you')... yiipppeee! O that line came from his self-interview question in the Diary room... the twit! Being the Ziggy twerp that he is, he has volunteered his services to go into the half-way house (where he'll compete with the remaining 3 half-way contestants to stay on the show) ... me thinks he's figured there are 2 chicks in there, and he might as well see if he can score with either one of 'em. His choices - a glamour model and a care assistant/stripper (wow!! and I guess he figures they'll both be gagging for it, seeing as his only competition is Jonty, the 36 year old teddy bear playing I've never had sex before man! Men!!! BOOT Ziggy out, PLEASEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE.
Anyway, more news later - need to get back to working again, before they cotton on to the fact that all that typing is from me 'blogging' and not 'scripting'...
Catch you soon, not to worry am on a roll now, and don't fancy leaving you out in the cold. Cheerio.
:)
- 'boo
xxx
In other news (ooo am I feeling like a reporter today) Chanelle (the V.Becks look-alike, who's ambition is to BE a wait for it - professional V.Becks look-alike (don't laugh - even though I am rolling, at least she has some ambition)FINALLY came to her senses and walked, after yet another break up with Ziggy ('did you think it was as good for her as it was for you')... yiipppeee! O that line came from his self-interview question in the Diary room... the twit! Being the Ziggy twerp that he is, he has volunteered his services to go into the half-way house (where he'll compete with the remaining 3 half-way contestants to stay on the show) ... me thinks he's figured there are 2 chicks in there, and he might as well see if he can score with either one of 'em. His choices - a glamour model and a care assistant/stripper (wow!! and I guess he figures they'll both be gagging for it, seeing as his only competition is Jonty, the 36 year old teddy bear playing I've never had sex before man! Men!!! BOOT Ziggy out, PLEASEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE.
Anyway, more news later - need to get back to working again, before they cotton on to the fact that all that typing is from me 'blogging' and not 'scripting'...
Catch you soon, not to worry am on a roll now, and don't fancy leaving you out in the cold. Cheerio.
:)
- 'boo
xxx
Saturday 28 July 2007
Friday 27 July 2007
Friday Night... Just got Paid!!
This is o so very true! Just like the song, for y'all oldies out there. Such a joyful day to be back in the 'black'. Alas am sitting at home, about to watch the next episode of Eastenders (which has REALLY hotted up, thankfully) and also come to think of it (and thanks for the reminder) about to take out my hair (oops meant braids). Need to do it myself, as the last time, the lady washed my hair without combing it... so yup, the 'dada' wonder came to be. And trust me, that was NOT a pretty sight! Right so we ALL gather am BORED out of my brain cells... is that even possible? Well, I don't care, I just NEED me some entertainment... even though I should be reading for my exam. O by the way, that means I'll be taking a short break for a while (well I say so now, but you never know).
Where was I? O bored... downloaded a few songs off Itunes... and now Eastenders is on, so gotta go... also have 3 manuals to read for this exam of mine.... I need strength.
Catch you soon.... o and thanks to everyone who's sent in comments so far... hint blog.com, we need to be able to hold Forums please...
Ta da people. Will let you know once something 'that catches my eye comes up' :).
-'boo xxx
Where was I? O bored... downloaded a few songs off Itunes... and now Eastenders is on, so gotta go... also have 3 manuals to read for this exam of mine.... I need strength.
Catch you soon.... o and thanks to everyone who's sent in comments so far... hint blog.com, we need to be able to hold Forums please...
Ta da people. Will let you know once something 'that catches my eye comes up' :).
-'boo xxx
Friday 20 July 2007
Big Brother 8... The Davina saga continues!
Now is it just me or is Davina (she of the I was once a coke addict fame) McCall a 'bit' black-unfriendly? Please answer me this. Now if you are a secret Big Brother 8 viewer, much like me then you would have come across this nasty woman! First it was her famous clashes with Makosi 'I gave a B.J in a pool on national TV' Musambasi (while she was on BB6). Now it's with Charley 'I love to wear nothing but panties, even though I have no butt' fame. She (being Davina) seems to pick on only the dark skinned women... hmmm me thinks somewhere in her drugged out past, her dealer might have been a dudu woman. Anyway Davina if you're reading this... I would have used the 'R' word, but in this day and age of PC.... I might get sued and have no money to support my rants ... yet! So there! Anyway you might want to think about checking yourself before you get 'checked'! Have you not seen any of the films where the white chick messes with the black one and ends up being wrecked! Beware o.... afterall, me I no dey turn red/black and blue.. or green for that matter when the or 'if' the healing begins... Be careful lo wa o! (Going a little lingo).
Not much else happening in the world... those errant girls face a trial soon... I hope for their sake they don't get the full 10 years... on the bright side, at least e no go be for naija prison! Imagine them from 'jand' having to do a stretch in Kirikiri! Anyway like I say, if you have 'eru' make you carry am yourself or spend small money and use courier!
Have to get back to my ironing now... o yes, I am domesticated... :) O and if any of you out there has been rained out of your houses... you're welcome to kip round at mine for a night or two... never say I'm not nice!
O and Davina... PLEASE, PLEASE put AWAY those naff hoop earrings... they do NOT suit you!
O and if you haven't cottoned onto 'Heroes' yet... WATCH it on BBC2 when it comes on... you now have no excuse..... be 'in' or be dry... the choice is yours.
Tada people...
-'boo xxx
p.s For those who left comments.. much appreciated people... wish I could start a forum ... but please continue to keep your thoughts rolling in... xxx
Not much else happening in the world... those errant girls face a trial soon... I hope for their sake they don't get the full 10 years... on the bright side, at least e no go be for naija prison! Imagine them from 'jand' having to do a stretch in Kirikiri! Anyway like I say, if you have 'eru' make you carry am yourself or spend small money and use courier!
Have to get back to my ironing now... o yes, I am domesticated... :) O and if any of you out there has been rained out of your houses... you're welcome to kip round at mine for a night or two... never say I'm not nice!
O and Davina... PLEASE, PLEASE put AWAY those naff hoop earrings... they do NOT suit you!
O and if you haven't cottoned onto 'Heroes' yet... WATCH it on BBC2 when it comes on... you now have no excuse..... be 'in' or be dry... the choice is yours.
Tada people...
-'boo xxx
p.s For those who left comments.. much appreciated people... wish I could start a forum ... but please continue to keep your thoughts rolling in... xxx
Thursday 12 July 2007
Update to 16 and etc
Hmmm am afraid I was RIGHT! One of those errant girls is Naija! Her name is Yetunde Diya... and no, don't you even dare deny that name is from elsewhere on the continent! She is surely from Nigeria! The foolish child dragged her friend Yasemin Vatansever.. don't know where she's from and they KNEW exactly what it was they were doing... afterall momsie and popsie thought they were in France! O yes... they told their folks they were going on a school trip to France. Am sorry the parents sef... didn't they take them to the airport and watch them check-in? Come on....and it seems the dealer was Ghanaian... or so they say. I won't be surprised if when they find 'J' he turns out to be Nigerian. Now the icing on the cake is... the man paid for the tickets into Ghana, where they stayed for a week! Now we know we don't live in a FREE world, so firstly how did two sixteen year old girls hook up with an 'older man'? Tell me? Secondly, did they NOT think that they would either have to 'pay' in kind or some other way? All ye who have teenage daughters... better lock them up! Not really surprised that they could 'bump' into this OLD man, when we live in a society where the young dress OLD and the old dress YOUNG!
Anyway I can't get over the fact that these 2 teen call girls were told to go on holiday to far away Ghana on a 'free' trip and get this they were told by the elusive he better be ashamed of himself 'J' that they'd be bringing back 2 laptops... yeah.... 2 laptops for a trip to Ghana! Anyway I don't blame them, I blame their parents - especially the naija ones. It seems we have let our values drop to live in 'European society'. So it's been our young ones caught up in gangs, murder and now drug mules! What next? I bet if her folks are not together, her dad will blame her mum!
I think I need to rest.... chow time. Just thought to update y'all.
La'ers
- 'boo xxx
Anyway I can't get over the fact that these 2 teen call girls were told to go on holiday to far away Ghana on a 'free' trip and get this they were told by the elusive he better be ashamed of himself 'J' that they'd be bringing back 2 laptops... yeah.... 2 laptops for a trip to Ghana! Anyway I don't blame them, I blame their parents - especially the naija ones. It seems we have let our values drop to live in 'European society'. So it's been our young ones caught up in gangs, murder and now drug mules! What next? I bet if her folks are not together, her dad will blame her mum!
I think I need to rest.... chow time. Just thought to update y'all.
La'ers
- 'boo xxx
16 and TRYING to live the life!
Alright, so it seems I do have avid fans out there. Avid fans who refuse to leave comments expressing their thoughts, opinions and adoration of me. Hint, y'all know yourselves! Need I say more! So with the niceties out of the way, the shocking news that has reached this 'reporter's' (O yes.... I more or less am one, afterall you get your news round up from me!) ears or shall I say eyes, seeing as it was on BBC news online is that two 'British' girls were nabbed in Ghana trying to take out drugs (well actually the drugs were plane-bound for the UK)... wait for it.... worth THREE HUNDRED THOUSAND BRITISH POUNDS! Yes you most certainly saw it... £300k.... what were they thinking! Meanwhile, these girls were only 16 (yup, sixteen) years old! My friend called them teenage call girls. Lol! Am sure all they were promised, was maybe what.... £1,000... ok, worse case scenario... 5k! But maybe a few designer bags between them and maybe 1 or 2 pairs of shoes thrown in... then what! Whatelse did they want to spend the money on! I blame their folks, afterall they should have warned them NOT to EVER take 'gifts' (in this case drugs) from strangers! Meanwhile, if this had happened in Thailand! Hmmm na to die straight.... a short road to hanging it'll be called. There'd be a film made about them too.
Anyway we don't know the full story yet, but I can tell you that am o so VERY glad they were not Nigerian! Trust me, if they were; British born or not (actually it also says they were from London) it would have been all over the news... I can see those headlines '2 Nigerian teenagers caught with 300,000 Pounds worth of cocaine'. Then the first line would have read 'Two Nigerian teenagers born in Britain were caught with an astonishing amount of cocaine. The drugs with a whooping street value of 300,000 pounds was discovered while they were trying to board a plane to the UK'.... you know the rest. Then it would have been ...hmmm that country filled with 419ers has gone back to its drug peddling days... and look, their unthinking, 'take advantage of innocent people' drug dealers now use 'innocent', 'unaware' young girls to get their stuff out! We would never have lived that down. Well we still don't know if the dealers are Naija.... This reporter will keep you posted.
So what do you think 2 sixteen year olds would spend say £5,000 (not that they would ever have got that if they had been successful) each on? Not a car for sure, they can only get a provisional driving licence in the UK and need a licence holder of at least 2 years beside them at all times.... what else, dresses, more Joe Browns, Kate Moss@Top Shop, Stella McCartney@ H&M, Zara etc than they could think of.. what else?? Me thinks nothing else..oo ooo me, me, teacher.... Ipods... but how many would they need? Let's see if they got the Nanos, they could get 1 in each colour - a different one for each day of the week :).. and more Itunes songs than their little hearts could play and accessories than they could co-ordinate with or use...:).
Well now that my old brain is exhausted... been a LONG time since I was 16, and besides, times REALLY are different!
Anyway the moral of this story is: 'BRING UP YOUR CHILDREN WELL. Teach them not to be greedy, not to keep up with the Joneses and most importantly to have CONFIDENCE in themselves!'
Anyway we don't know the full story yet, but I can tell you that am o so VERY glad they were not Nigerian! Trust me, if they were; British born or not (actually it also says they were from London) it would have been all over the news... I can see those headlines '2 Nigerian teenagers caught with 300,000 Pounds worth of cocaine'. Then the first line would have read 'Two Nigerian teenagers born in Britain were caught with an astonishing amount of cocaine. The drugs with a whooping street value of 300,000 pounds was discovered while they were trying to board a plane to the UK'.... you know the rest. Then it would have been ...hmmm that country filled with 419ers has gone back to its drug peddling days... and look, their unthinking, 'take advantage of innocent people' drug dealers now use 'innocent', 'unaware' young girls to get their stuff out! We would never have lived that down. Well we still don't know if the dealers are Naija.... This reporter will keep you posted.
So what do you think 2 sixteen year olds would spend say £5,000 (not that they would ever have got that if they had been successful) each on? Not a car for sure, they can only get a provisional driving licence in the UK and need a licence holder of at least 2 years beside them at all times.... what else, dresses, more Joe Browns, Kate Moss@Top Shop, Stella McCartney@ H&M, Zara etc than they could think of.. what else?? Me thinks nothing else..oo ooo me, me, teacher.... Ipods... but how many would they need? Let's see if they got the Nanos, they could get 1 in each colour - a different one for each day of the week :).. and more Itunes songs than their little hearts could play and accessories than they could co-ordinate with or use...:).
Well now that my old brain is exhausted... been a LONG time since I was 16, and besides, times REALLY are different!
Anyway the moral of this story is: 'BRING UP YOUR CHILDREN WELL. Teach them not to be greedy, not to keep up with the Joneses and most importantly to have CONFIDENCE in themselves!'
Tuesday 10 July 2007
Bobby Brown and his 24 hour stint
Right so am at work, slightly bored out of my brain cells, about to commit blue murder! There is someone beside me who’s sniffing the few brain cells she has left out! I mean, why don’t you just get yourself up and out your sit, into the loo (this bit is important, cos when she does blow, it's beside me, sitting at her desk and boy is it loud, o and it's followed by a few sniffles – why bother!) and blow that nose! Urgh!!! Am going mental! This was not meant to be a whinging blog! It was supposed to be educational :) … and intellectual… but alas, I am brought down to the level of a human being! I tire! May go out for a coffee… already done the lunch thing, the falling asleep thing and now this – the updating your blog thing! Anyway, at least at the end of the day, the almighty pound reports into my account.
O did I tell you that this colleague of mine has a knack for typing (seeing as it’s email contact I keep it to) words out as follows (hers are in red):
Rather – ratter
Will – we
Prefer – preface
There’s also this one - it seem we are meant to fill one in and send via email on every Wednesday
Did I hear you scream or should that be howl out with laughter? All this coming from someone who ‘says’ she schooled here from her A’s (6th form to the rest of you) … yeah, right, and my dad is Bill Gates!
So what’s been happening in the big bad world? O I forgot to report this…. Last month, Bobby Brown was in the UK – who let him in o! He appeared on some reality program (I say some, cos that’s what it was) called ’24 hours with’. It’s a new style chat show where the celebrity and interviewer spend 24 hours LOCKED in a room. The host Jamie Campbell asks each celebrity anything he wants, and the dude must have some psychologist/psycho-analytical degree, as he goes for the jugular with his killer questions! Anyway, it was Bobby’s turn. Being a psycho-analyst (or at least I’ve conferred the honour on him, as is the tradition where I come from), this dude Bill played on Bobby’s phobia for homosexuals… It was hilarious. The conversation kind of went like this:
Jamie: ‘Why don’t we go into the bedroom?’
Bobby: ‘Why?’
Jamie: ‘We could share a bed’
Bobby: ‘I don’t want to sleep’
Jamie: ‘But we have nothing to do, so we may as well go to sleep’
Bobby: ‘Well am not sharing a bed with you, I’ll sleep out here. And why is there only one bed’
Jamie: ‘I don’t know’
Bobby: ‘Why would I share a bed with you?’
Jamie: ‘I don’t know’
Bobby: ‘You gay or something?’
Jamie: ‘I just don’t feel like answering it’
Bobby: ‘Just tell me, you gay?’
Jamie: ‘I’m not answering the question’
Bobby: ‘Why not’
Jamie: ‘Because the fact that am gay doesn’t make me any less of a man’
Bobby: ‘Well it makes you less of a man if you don’t answer’
Jamie: ‘Well that’s your opinion’
Bobby: ‘Are you gay?’
Jamie: ‘I’m not answering that question’
Bobby walks off into a room, 2 hours later
Bobby: ‘Are you gay?’
Jamie: ‘Are you scared of gays?’
Bobby: ‘If you don’t tell me, ama (in that Yankee drawl) beat you down’ cracking his knuckles
Jamie: ‘Why do you want to know?’
Bobby: ‘Amgonna beat you down on national TV’ (cracking his knuckles again)
Jamie realising Bobby is serious about the beat down says: ‘Am not gay’
Bobby: ‘Are you sure you’re not gay?’
Jamie: ‘Not if you want to beat me up’
Bobby: ‘So you’re gay?’
Jamie: ‘No am not gay’
Bobby: ‘You sure?’
Jamie: ‘Why? Are you scared of gays?’
Bobby: ‘Am not scared, just don’t like them’
Jamie: ‘You ever met a gay person?’
Bobby: ‘Why would I meet a gay person? I don’t like them, they don’t like me’
Bobby: ‘Are you gay?’ (Black man panicking….. didn’t want an ass-whipping, quite literally)
Jamie: ‘I’ve said am not’
Bobby: ‘You sure?’
Okay getting boring now…. Yawn! Bobby finally believes Jamie’s not gay and gives in and o next comes this –
Jamie: ‘What’s it like to be a wanted man?’ (In reference to Osama Bin Laden apparently wanting his head over Whitney Houston)
Bobby: ‘Well, the dude wanted me to give up my woman and I wasn’t having any of it’
Jamie: ‘So what did you do?’
Bobby: ‘Told him where to find me, I wasn’t going down like that’
Jamie: ‘Really’ (Obviously not believing our man B.Brown)
Bobby: ‘O yeah, I told him to fxxx and not to bother me and Whitney’
Jamie: ‘You going to give him a beat down too?’
Bobby: ‘I would if he came near me’
Well you know how the rest went, but really the beat down bit was such fun, it was one of those days when I wished I had Sky+…. It was pissing on yourself funny! Trust me!
My days have just improved… just got the news that I’m on a project... only catch is I have to drive 1 hour (it says … but that M25 (it’s a big orbital/expressway that connects north, east, west and south London/Greater London) makes it 2) there and back could be anywhere from 45 minutes (sshhh) to 4 hours! But anything not to be b---d!
Waiting to see improvements in my life from GB (Gordon Brown) our esteemed Prime Minister but then interest rates went up… You will NOT keep me down! Aside from that, not much news out there. O yeah, the London Olympics Committee has apparently no head for project management. They have no mechanism in place to monitor if projects are done….. hmm me thinks that’s another ‘egunje’ venue in the making (does anyone have a father/brother there…) abeg come give me contract.
Off to a Comedy night with Basket Mouth and ‘friends’ on Saturday, will tell you how it went.
Anyways good people catch you soon…
I’ll leave you with this in the meantime.
-‘boo
xxx
O did I tell you that this colleague of mine has a knack for typing (seeing as it’s email contact I keep it to) words out as follows (hers are in red):
Rather – ratter
Will – we
Prefer – preface
There’s also this one - it seem we are meant to fill one in and send via email on every Wednesday
Did I hear you scream or should that be howl out with laughter? All this coming from someone who ‘says’ she schooled here from her A’s (6th form to the rest of you) … yeah, right, and my dad is Bill Gates!
So what’s been happening in the big bad world? O I forgot to report this…. Last month, Bobby Brown was in the UK – who let him in o! He appeared on some reality program (I say some, cos that’s what it was) called ’24 hours with’. It’s a new style chat show where the celebrity and interviewer spend 24 hours LOCKED in a room. The host Jamie Campbell asks each celebrity anything he wants, and the dude must have some psychologist/psycho-analytical degree, as he goes for the jugular with his killer questions! Anyway, it was Bobby’s turn. Being a psycho-analyst (or at least I’ve conferred the honour on him, as is the tradition where I come from), this dude Bill played on Bobby’s phobia for homosexuals… It was hilarious. The conversation kind of went like this:
Jamie: ‘Why don’t we go into the bedroom?’
Bobby: ‘Why?’
Jamie: ‘We could share a bed’
Bobby: ‘I don’t want to sleep’
Jamie: ‘But we have nothing to do, so we may as well go to sleep’
Bobby: ‘Well am not sharing a bed with you, I’ll sleep out here. And why is there only one bed’
Jamie: ‘I don’t know’
Bobby: ‘Why would I share a bed with you?’
Jamie: ‘I don’t know’
Bobby: ‘You gay or something?’
Jamie: ‘I just don’t feel like answering it’
Bobby: ‘Just tell me, you gay?’
Jamie: ‘I’m not answering the question’
Bobby: ‘Why not’
Jamie: ‘Because the fact that am gay doesn’t make me any less of a man’
Bobby: ‘Well it makes you less of a man if you don’t answer’
Jamie: ‘Well that’s your opinion’
Bobby: ‘Are you gay?’
Jamie: ‘I’m not answering that question’
Bobby walks off into a room, 2 hours later
Bobby: ‘Are you gay?’
Jamie: ‘Are you scared of gays?’
Bobby: ‘If you don’t tell me, ama (in that Yankee drawl) beat you down’ cracking his knuckles
Jamie: ‘Why do you want to know?’
Bobby: ‘Amgonna beat you down on national TV’ (cracking his knuckles again)
Jamie realising Bobby is serious about the beat down says: ‘Am not gay’
Bobby: ‘Are you sure you’re not gay?’
Jamie: ‘Not if you want to beat me up’
Bobby: ‘So you’re gay?’
Jamie: ‘No am not gay’
Bobby: ‘You sure?’
Jamie: ‘Why? Are you scared of gays?’
Bobby: ‘Am not scared, just don’t like them’
Jamie: ‘You ever met a gay person?’
Bobby: ‘Why would I meet a gay person? I don’t like them, they don’t like me’
Bobby: ‘Are you gay?’ (Black man panicking….. didn’t want an ass-whipping, quite literally)
Jamie: ‘I’ve said am not’
Bobby: ‘You sure?’
Okay getting boring now…. Yawn! Bobby finally believes Jamie’s not gay and gives in and o next comes this –
Jamie: ‘What’s it like to be a wanted man?’ (In reference to Osama Bin Laden apparently wanting his head over Whitney Houston)
Bobby: ‘Well, the dude wanted me to give up my woman and I wasn’t having any of it’
Jamie: ‘So what did you do?’
Bobby: ‘Told him where to find me, I wasn’t going down like that’
Jamie: ‘Really’ (Obviously not believing our man B.Brown)
Bobby: ‘O yeah, I told him to fxxx and not to bother me and Whitney’
Jamie: ‘You going to give him a beat down too?’
Bobby: ‘I would if he came near me’
Well you know how the rest went, but really the beat down bit was such fun, it was one of those days when I wished I had Sky+…. It was pissing on yourself funny! Trust me!
My days have just improved… just got the news that I’m on a project... only catch is I have to drive 1 hour (it says … but that M25 (it’s a big orbital/expressway that connects north, east, west and south London/Greater London) makes it 2) there and back could be anywhere from 45 minutes (sshhh) to 4 hours! But anything not to be b---d!
Waiting to see improvements in my life from GB (Gordon Brown) our esteemed Prime Minister but then interest rates went up… You will NOT keep me down! Aside from that, not much news out there. O yeah, the London Olympics Committee has apparently no head for project management. They have no mechanism in place to monitor if projects are done….. hmm me thinks that’s another ‘egunje’ venue in the making (does anyone have a father/brother there…) abeg come give me contract.
Off to a Comedy night with Basket Mouth and ‘friends’ on Saturday, will tell you how it went.
Anyways good people catch you soon…
I’ll leave you with this in the meantime.
-‘boo
xxx
Wednesday 27 June 2007
Illegal drug trials and more...
O what a world we live in.First we go to Nigeria, where those nutters are suing Pfizer for $7billion, yup that's SEVEN BILLION U.S DOLLARS! Why? Cos those dips at Pfizer used little children and babies in Northern Nigeria as guinea pigs! They called it trials for a new anti-meningitis drug. This was in 1996. Officials in Kano said 50 kids died and others developed mental and physical deformities. Pfizer claims and in their words 'only 11 of the 200 died!'. When did 5% loss in human life become an acceptable risk? Please tell me when human beings became lab rats! Is it cos they were 'black'? It needs to be understood that this happened in villages where people hardly spoke or understood English! Since when were American doctors allowed into Nigeria to perform experiments on kids unsupervised?
Anyway the case went to court, and the judge who had obviously been 'seen' has ruled in favour of Pfizer and stopped the Federal Government from adding more names to the 54 being claimed for! So judge, how much money did you get? You should be ashamed! The fact that our own people do not value human life doesn't mean you, who are supposed to be there to protect your people should sell out for a few 'bob'! When did we get to this? The whole situation is sordid. I personally think the judge should be removed from the case and the title stripped from his sorry ass! EFCC (the body responsible for locking up all these scoundrels) should look into his accounts and am sure they'll discover he's suddenly upped his finances from N0 to hmmm maybe a couple million dollars!(Surely if he's smart, he wouldn't have taken anything less than $7M... I mean compare that to $7BN!)
I can't even comprehend this situation. It MUST be wrong... how can you go into another country to carry out illegal drug trials? Urgh.. my blood boils. And those health officials - yes, the Naija ones, should all be flogged publicly and hauled off to jail! Come on, you and me both know that they had been 'settled' before those American doctors/Pfizer officials started vaccinating those poor kids. My prayer, PLEASE God, CLEAN Nigeria!
For more details, see: http://news.bbc.co.uk/1/hi/world/africa/6241322.stm
Whoopee, the bad witch is dead, that evil Blair is gone! But alas, just when we thought we had seen the last of him, they went and made him a 'Peace' envoy to the Middle East. Obviously someone thought it was a good joke, problem is we're in June going into July and NOT April! Anyway now Gordon Brown is in No. 10. Let's hope he rights his predecessor's wrongs.... Education, Health, o and corrects his own wrongs.... reduce council taxes, remove fuel surcharges and reduce interest rates! Please Gordie. Kisses dearie....
Back in Naija, I hear the opposition parties, or should that be party - ANPP is hoping to share powers with the government - Yar'Adua. Buhari has distanced himself from the 'agreement', saying it is premature. Me thinks the man wants all the power to himself, so he can clean out the country, which he 'forgot' to do the last time he was in that position!
And finally (and this is funny), in America Bush faces an eavesdropping subpoena. apparently, he ordered surveillance without ordering warrants.... even Americans overseas had their mobile calls (cells as you guys call it) bugged! O sweet victory if he infact gets subpoenaed!
Anyway people, I do apologise for my long silence - I had been occupied :-)
Catch y'all soon.
- 'boo xxx
Anyway the case went to court, and the judge who had obviously been 'seen' has ruled in favour of Pfizer and stopped the Federal Government from adding more names to the 54 being claimed for! So judge, how much money did you get? You should be ashamed! The fact that our own people do not value human life doesn't mean you, who are supposed to be there to protect your people should sell out for a few 'bob'! When did we get to this? The whole situation is sordid. I personally think the judge should be removed from the case and the title stripped from his sorry ass! EFCC (the body responsible for locking up all these scoundrels) should look into his accounts and am sure they'll discover he's suddenly upped his finances from N0 to hmmm maybe a couple million dollars!(Surely if he's smart, he wouldn't have taken anything less than $7M... I mean compare that to $7BN!)
I can't even comprehend this situation. It MUST be wrong... how can you go into another country to carry out illegal drug trials? Urgh.. my blood boils. And those health officials - yes, the Naija ones, should all be flogged publicly and hauled off to jail! Come on, you and me both know that they had been 'settled' before those American doctors/Pfizer officials started vaccinating those poor kids. My prayer, PLEASE God, CLEAN Nigeria!
For more details, see: http://news.bbc.co.uk/1/hi/world/africa/6241322.stm
Whoopee, the bad witch is dead, that evil Blair is gone! But alas, just when we thought we had seen the last of him, they went and made him a 'Peace' envoy to the Middle East. Obviously someone thought it was a good joke, problem is we're in June going into July and NOT April! Anyway now Gordon Brown is in No. 10. Let's hope he rights his predecessor's wrongs.... Education, Health, o and corrects his own wrongs.... reduce council taxes, remove fuel surcharges and reduce interest rates! Please Gordie. Kisses dearie....
Back in Naija, I hear the opposition parties, or should that be party - ANPP is hoping to share powers with the government - Yar'Adua. Buhari has distanced himself from the 'agreement', saying it is premature. Me thinks the man wants all the power to himself, so he can clean out the country, which he 'forgot' to do the last time he was in that position!
And finally (and this is funny), in America Bush faces an eavesdropping subpoena. apparently, he ordered surveillance without ordering warrants.... even Americans overseas had their mobile calls (cells as you guys call it) bugged! O sweet victory if he infact gets subpoenaed!
Anyway people, I do apologise for my long silence - I had been occupied :-)
Catch y'all soon.
- 'boo xxx
Sunday 17 June 2007
Week in review
Yes, yes, I know it's been a while... but alas, duty called! Anyway am back with a bang! So this week there's been some pretty good stuff in the news and on T.V. Let's see in the Apprentice, Simon Ambrose (he that curls his hair) was 'HIRED'! I know I should have placed a bet.. I'd have cleaned out... there was no way Kristina was going to win, she was far too 'safe' - an un-wanted quality that was present in her predecessors (none of whom funny enough are no longer with the establishment that is Sir Alan Sugar), on the other hand Simon was a risk-taker, and had moments of imaginative genius, when he wasn't talking like an air head!. Like I said, I really must start taking the lottery and sure-bank gambles seriously, honestly.. all that cash that could have been mine! I hear you calling me a 'kalo-kalo' girl, well tough! Well still on this new Apprentice, the very next day the young man goes out and buys an Aston Martin DB to celebrate his new job!
Talk about putting the cart before the horse.. the man hasn't even been on the job 5 minutes.. O well, I hope he does Sir Alan's empire good.. for those of you not in the know, Sir Alan Sugar ranked 84th in the Sunday Times Rich List 2007, has a net worth of £830 million (that's British pounds) and owns amongst other companies Amstrad, Amsair as well as Amsprop.Anyway we'll leave the rich to their own devises. For some humour - well at least for women, ha ha... a woman who ripped off her ex-boyfriend's testicles with her get this.... bare hands has been jailed! Poor dude, all I can say is ouch! Apparently she flew into a rage when he rejected her advances.. hell hath no fury like a woman scorned, have you men NOT learnt! Anyway missy yanked off exes left testicle (btw am I the only one or how did she gain 'easy access' to his prized jewels? Hmmm), tried to swallow it, choked and then proceeded to spit it out into her hand... and the punchline, wait for it.. a friend grabs the spat out testicle from her and hands it back to 'Mr Jones' saying "That's yours" Lol! ! Hilarious! She gets 2.5 years in jail and he..well he gets no testicle.. doctors were unable to reattach his family member... ooo what a shame! But hey at least he still has one more to 'perform' with doesn't he? My sympathies Mr Jones... at least 'woman scorned' has apologised for her 5 minutes of madness!
In the world of politics, the Justice minister wants equal pay for men and women to be reached by 2020.. err come on people, by then I'd be preparing for retirement! (Oops.. did I just reveal my true age),.. scrap that. Now the meddling do-gooders in Labour are trying to ban kid smacking outright! What's next, tell us we can't yell at our kids? No wonder grown ass folks cross the streets when they see over 3 kids milling together! There is absolutely no discipline these days! Let's hope this law doesn't go through, talk about a nanny state! It's to be made compulsory for fathers to be registered on their child's birth certificate..utter rubbish! If you don't want the baby daddy on the birth certificate, then surely you have the choice.. after all as a woman you carried the child for 9 months, laboured in pain from anywhere between 6 to 48 hours.. so I will bloody well not put the name on if baby dada is a waste of space! (Though how the gene pool would work in that case is beyond me, a case of some serious fasting and prayer to ensure that dad's never do well character does not sip into the new born's blood!). Anyway when o when will this government stop trying to dictate to us what we should do and how we should live!
Right folks, that's my 2 cents for now....catch you soon...Britain's got Talent final is on... now that's a story for another day but I do hope either little Connie or the Kombat Breakers wins in that order :-*
- 'boo
Wednesday 6 June 2007
Shock Horror... Men and curlers!
So have any of you been watching 'The Apprentice' (that's the UK one with Sir Alan)? Well, did you see Simon Ambrose using, not attempting to o.... but actually using tongs.. i.e the professional slim straightener types o! Unbelievable!! Ok so he's 26, ok so he 'says' he is an Internet entrepreneur who is Cambridge educated (oooo) plus he joined MENSA (that's the Einstein club to you and I) at the age of 13 (yup, that's thirteen!).. o and it turns out that he is a B-A-D landlord... didn't fix the TV for his tenants for a year plus he apparently left the washing machine unfixed for 2 years I think it was....anyhooo I still can't get over the shock of seeing a full grown man.. yeah he may be only 27 but really! Do you know anyone i.e a man who uses tongs!! Well today 3 are about to get fired! Wonder who it'll be? I just had to lament this fact... plus he was wearing a yellow shirt and bright yellow socks to match! Ok fine.. you guys like to match your shirts and socks but come on, BRIGHT yellow socks.. uughhh ... I mean like custard yellow.. repugnant! The man needs to get lessons in dressing from Lohit Kalburgi... yes being the 'only gay in the village' he has managed to stick in there. Good for him.. and his dressing is impeccable... shame about batting for the other team.. but then that probably explains why he is such a good dresser.
Well Tre Azam (age 27) is about to be proven to be a BIG FAT liar!! Running 15 global enterprises and makes only 50k a year! Yeah right! he said he had a home-office... and the guy interviewing him said you run the office from your bedroom... ha ha I almost fell over! You have 'international' offices and you can't name where they are? Well... someone must have been cultivating his 'Pinocchio' skills! But really even by Pinocchio's standards (o that for the rest of you is the puppet made from wood by Geppetto that wanted to be a boy... remember if you even read the book that every time he told a 'tall' tale, his nose grew long!) he failed, although come to think of it, his nose is quite big... hmmmmm.
Anyway I digress... this started off with me lamenting about Simon and his curlers. Anyway if you've never watched it, you've missed the good parts... but you can watch the final next Wednesday @9pm on BBC1...and to 'get' acquantainted, see: http://www.bbc.co.uk/apprentice/home.html .......hmmmm BBC better pay me for this free ad! Anyway (I use this word a lot don't I?) the 3 'losers' are about to be announced... Ok I can tell you want me to stick around (you twisted my arm) and let you know who's been kicked off... Loser 1 - Lohit 'the baffer' (good dresser in QC (Up School!) slang). Loser 2 - Tre 'the Pinocchio'. OMG I can't believe that he kept that tramp Katie Hopkins in! And she's now bowed out, or hasn't she?Come on girl, decide... ok great she's OUT! Yippee.. so now the final goes to Simon 'the curler twirling poshie' and Christina (she's nice - so I can't say anything bad)... stay tuned for the final review, better still watch it! O and not to moan, why has NO ONE left me a comment.. come on.. even a one-liner?? You can do it... or how much prodding do y'all need? Come on guys and gals...Ta. :-)
-'boo
Saturday 2 June 2007
Help a Sista out!
Ok it has been a while and I do apologise for my 'long' absence, but people if you are reading this then how about some encouragement then? You know an encore (ok maybe I won't go that far), an applause... come on a comment won't go a miss... just some sort of encouragement here guys. Hear a sista out! PLEASE! Give this sista a break! And now that we've got that out of the way we'll move onto the order of the day.
Like I said apologies for my absence... had to spring clean and I got carried away with it and ended up spring cleaning everything and I do mean everything in sight! O well a story for another century. So what's new out there? Front page news in the UK was the fact that the Pakistani cricket coach Bob Woolmer died of natural causes and not murdered as earlier stared! Shock of all shocks... Panorama (an investigative program aired on BBC1) reported that Woolmer was poisoned and strangled after angering raical muslims... hmm such sensational journalism... me thinks the producer of that show will soon be under pressure to apologise to the Pakistani community in the UK... yeah, PC again! I do feel sorry for the Jamaican police.... who would have thought there'd be a much worse (or shall I use the word incompetent) police force than the Nigerian one! I hear Bola Ige's killers have finally been found.. days to OBJ's departure... am VERY sceptical about it..I mean what have drug barons or whatever occupation he listed as his got to do with Bola Ige? Well let's hope the new Presido sorts all these 'unsolved' murders... and please, please sir send them (the TRULY guilty party(ies) o!) to the guillotines!
So now Big Brother 8 is in full effect... yeah I switch over when there is nothing on (for no more than 10 mins o... any dose larger than that is a tad bit too much for this lady) and trust me now summer is in.. there is REALLY nothing on TV at all!! Have you seen this year's line-up? It was ALL women - 12 of them until last night when the one and only man entered the house.. you should have seen them all gushing and oohing and aahing over this one man... the twins (yeah, they are called 'barbie' twins.. and say 'pink' a lot!) especially were all giggly and some were even teary eyed!! This would be any Naija (Nigerian) man's fantasy I bet.. (you just try to deny it.. I know your dark thoughts!).. Infact it would be everyman's fantasy (well at least the straight ones)... Anyway the man (he goes by the name of 'Ziggy' and is'white'!) was trying to play it cool.. Haven't bothered to switch over today, don't need to pollute my mind... Really I just want it to be over, but we have 13 LONG weeks to go!... There's even two at least over 50 year old women in there! Pray tell, what in the world are they looking for??? Do they still have a brain?? One is really quiet and keeps to herself, and is apparently the queen bee of the house (hmmm do I hear you say). The other has become the 'mummy' of the house - you know the type, she sees to the food, organises the food.. every kitchen thing anyway, she showed the guy all the rooms (told him how many beds were in each), the loos (toilets to y'all), the showers and baths. She is a real iya (old woman), just looking at her.. her hair is grey too! Enough of that, it's doing my head in! I need something a bit more educational now! But one more thing.. in Holland Big Brother's other reality show aptly entitled 'Big Donor show has been scrapped! It would have been a reality show in which critically ill contestants competed to win a kidney! Rather grotesque if you ask me (which you didn't but then.. like I said this is my blog so!). Anyway the brain cancer victim (woman) whose kidney was up for contention upon her imminent death (so they said), turned out be an alive and kicking HEALTHY actress, who me thinks is playing with fate.... and just might one day end up on a waiting list herself! O and get this.. the contestants are actually people who are on kidney waiting lists, are currently on dialysis and need to find a donor! They were in on the scam.. so feel no sympathy for them please, 'cos I most definitely do NOT! The producers of the show say they did it to highlight the chronic donor problem in Holland... I really must start the 'Ban Big Brother world-wide in ALL Forms!' petition. Who wants to sign up after me?
Now onto education.... a Headmistress was attacked verbally and punched in the face by an 18 year-old ex-pupil! Then to top it all off, a current student filmed it on her mobile and 'set it free'.. via 'YouTube'! The ex-student is classified as 'vulnerable' in society...well if that's what you call vulnerable, then a mad man must be classified as what exactly? I digress... the ex-student was released under caution.. err how about jailing her ass! And the current student - the budding camera-woman... faces disciplinary action in school... one question...why has she not been publicly flogged? I mean haul her on stage in front of the general assembly, bend her over (now, now, no dirty thoughts here) and use a koboko (cat-o-nine-tails/aka caning stick) on her.. and NO this is not barbaric at all.. spare the rod and spoil the child I say!.. That's why kids these days don't respect their elders! If anything we're the ones scared of them! I see a group of kids, I cross to the other side of the road instantly... I don't care what area am in..... Bring back discipline in schools I say... there's another thought for a petition.. but it probably won't make any progress seeing as a school wants to ban skirts as girls tend to wear their skirts too high these days. They want them to wear only trousers from henceforth. Some parents are kicking against it.. how about training your girls to walk and more importantly to sit properly if you insist on them wearing really short skirts!! And why on earth would you let them out to school in skirts that barely cover their bums! Hmmmm!!! Or maybe some folks should go to 'How To Bring Up Your Kids' school... I tell you, my child steps out of line and it's a backhand for him/her! Maybe I should start running Parenting courses... there I go giving all my good business ideas away... Tell no one o! I can sue, afterall you saw this here... copyrighted... see!
The England vs Brazil match on Friday ended in a draw... was it 'cos it was friendly? Or 'cos half the Brazil team were newbies? Or cos 'Becks was back? Me wonders? Either way.. rubbish game!
Alright folks... time to sign off... Catch you soon.
-'boo.
Like I said apologies for my absence... had to spring clean and I got carried away with it and ended up spring cleaning everything and I do mean everything in sight! O well a story for another century. So what's new out there? Front page news in the UK was the fact that the Pakistani cricket coach Bob Woolmer died of natural causes and not murdered as earlier stared! Shock of all shocks... Panorama (an investigative program aired on BBC1) reported that Woolmer was poisoned and strangled after angering raical muslims... hmm such sensational journalism... me thinks the producer of that show will soon be under pressure to apologise to the Pakistani community in the UK... yeah, PC again! I do feel sorry for the Jamaican police.... who would have thought there'd be a much worse (or shall I use the word incompetent) police force than the Nigerian one! I hear Bola Ige's killers have finally been found.. days to OBJ's departure... am VERY sceptical about it..I mean what have drug barons or whatever occupation he listed as his got to do with Bola Ige? Well let's hope the new Presido sorts all these 'unsolved' murders... and please, please sir send them (the TRULY guilty party(ies) o!) to the guillotines!
So now Big Brother 8 is in full effect... yeah I switch over when there is nothing on (for no more than 10 mins o... any dose larger than that is a tad bit too much for this lady) and trust me now summer is in.. there is REALLY nothing on TV at all!! Have you seen this year's line-up? It was ALL women - 12 of them until last night when the one and only man entered the house.. you should have seen them all gushing and oohing and aahing over this one man... the twins (yeah, they are called 'barbie' twins.. and say 'pink' a lot!) especially were all giggly and some were even teary eyed!! This would be any Naija (Nigerian) man's fantasy I bet.. (you just try to deny it.. I know your dark thoughts!).. Infact it would be everyman's fantasy (well at least the straight ones)... Anyway the man (he goes by the name of 'Ziggy' and is'white'!) was trying to play it cool.. Haven't bothered to switch over today, don't need to pollute my mind... Really I just want it to be over, but we have 13 LONG weeks to go!... There's even two at least over 50 year old women in there! Pray tell, what in the world are they looking for??? Do they still have a brain?? One is really quiet and keeps to herself, and is apparently the queen bee of the house (hmmm do I hear you say). The other has become the 'mummy' of the house - you know the type, she sees to the food, organises the food.. every kitchen thing anyway, she showed the guy all the rooms (told him how many beds were in each), the loos (toilets to y'all), the showers and baths. She is a real iya (old woman), just looking at her.. her hair is grey too! Enough of that, it's doing my head in! I need something a bit more educational now! But one more thing.. in Holland Big Brother's other reality show aptly entitled 'Big Donor show has been scrapped! It would have been a reality show in which critically ill contestants competed to win a kidney! Rather grotesque if you ask me (which you didn't but then.. like I said this is my blog so!). Anyway the brain cancer victim (woman) whose kidney was up for contention upon her imminent death (so they said), turned out be an alive and kicking HEALTHY actress, who me thinks is playing with fate.... and just might one day end up on a waiting list herself! O and get this.. the contestants are actually people who are on kidney waiting lists, are currently on dialysis and need to find a donor! They were in on the scam.. so feel no sympathy for them please, 'cos I most definitely do NOT! The producers of the show say they did it to highlight the chronic donor problem in Holland... I really must start the 'Ban Big Brother world-wide in ALL Forms!' petition. Who wants to sign up after me?
Now onto education.... a Headmistress was attacked verbally and punched in the face by an 18 year-old ex-pupil! Then to top it all off, a current student filmed it on her mobile and 'set it free'.. via 'YouTube'! The ex-student is classified as 'vulnerable' in society...well if that's what you call vulnerable, then a mad man must be classified as what exactly? I digress... the ex-student was released under caution.. err how about jailing her ass! And the current student - the budding camera-woman... faces disciplinary action in school... one question...why has she not been publicly flogged? I mean haul her on stage in front of the general assembly, bend her over (now, now, no dirty thoughts here) and use a koboko (cat-o-nine-tails/aka caning stick) on her.. and NO this is not barbaric at all.. spare the rod and spoil the child I say!.. That's why kids these days don't respect their elders! If anything we're the ones scared of them! I see a group of kids, I cross to the other side of the road instantly... I don't care what area am in..... Bring back discipline in schools I say... there's another thought for a petition.. but it probably won't make any progress seeing as a school wants to ban skirts as girls tend to wear their skirts too high these days. They want them to wear only trousers from henceforth. Some parents are kicking against it.. how about training your girls to walk and more importantly to sit properly if you insist on them wearing really short skirts!! And why on earth would you let them out to school in skirts that barely cover their bums! Hmmmm!!! Or maybe some folks should go to 'How To Bring Up Your Kids' school... I tell you, my child steps out of line and it's a backhand for him/her! Maybe I should start running Parenting courses... there I go giving all my good business ideas away... Tell no one o! I can sue, afterall you saw this here... copyrighted... see!
The England vs Brazil match on Friday ended in a draw... was it 'cos it was friendly? Or 'cos half the Brazil team were newbies? Or cos 'Becks was back? Me wonders? Either way.. rubbish game!
Alright folks... time to sign off... Catch you soon.
-'boo.
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